I'm 99.9% Sure He Doesn't Like Me. But Its The .1% That Keeps Me Going.

Hey

2009-04-15T17:16:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. I made a completely fresh start! Go to my new blog and forget this one. CrazedGuineaPig.Blogspot.Com. Theres the adress. =D So please go to that blog and forget about this one and please follow my new blog.
The only reason im making a new blog is because I messed up this account really bad in a way I cant explain. =( so please go to my new blog. It explains everything in the post. =) Sorry I can;t explain more I'm so tired...

_HaNdPrInT_

2009-04-15T15:50:00.001-07:00

Alright. I'm moving my blog! I'll tell you where in a bit...

Can you guys help me?

2009-04-15T15:04:00.001-07:00

Plz help! I reverted to the old classic blogger layout and now I can't get back to the original!! Please help meeeeeeeeee I'm scared.

♥ My life is so boring and I'm ugly and weird but God loves me! ♥

2009-04-15T10:12:00.000-07:00

Although things haven't really been going that well, I'm trying to make the best of things. My mind has been bothering me ALLOT. It keeps telling me things that tear me up. Last night it was practically chanting that Alex hates me. But I know that he doesn't hate me know, because he hugged me LOTS at church :D SUPER DUPER HAPPY FACE!!!!!!!!!!! Also URI IF YOUR READING THIS YOUR AWESOME!! Also Emma, Jill, James, and anyone else who I forgot. I love you guys so much. Ok...so not much has been going on. I got a new cage for the guinea pigs...and they love it! There's a little ramp and Kyoko loves climbing it Tee-Hee!!! Right now I'm listening to Fearless by Taylor Swift. As you can tell it's making me happy. :D This is the first time in awhile that I've felt good. And I've wanted to cut so bad, but then I imagine Alex's face and also God's, and it makes me want to stop and just think about whether or not it would be worth it. And I honestly don't really know why I'm so cheerful. Maybe it's because I've been sleeping in and I'm not tired or something...maybe it's because my sister smells fruity for some reason and is dancing while I'm writing this. LOL my brother is sorda in time out right now. He has to clean his room. OH and I have to tell you guys something. Ok I was at Sunday school and Alex came in and we were all talking about Adam and Eve. It was cool. All these weird questions came up and MY weird question was what if God is a girl? I mean what if He is? That would be cool. Hey look up the song God Is A Girl. That song made me wonder if he was. Ugh this post is so boring. It's just me rambling. There's nothing good that goes on in my life it's so boring. Sunday is the most exiting day of my life, seriously. And that's kinda lame. Hey and do any of you own guinea pigs that fling their poop? Just wondering because I want to know if thats normal. I also got my stitches out. It itches so bad though. I showed Alex my leg at Sunday School and you could tell that he was concerned, it really made me happy. It was funny, There was a crowd of kids around me, asking me if my leg was ok. It made me feel IMPORTANT and LOVED and I haven't felt that in forever. I've been trying to respect my family better and I still don't feel loved or respected back. And that sucks...you know...I'm trying so hard and I'm not getting anything back. HAHAHAHAHAHAH HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol have any of you heard of Lash Blast? ITS ONLY THE BEST MASCARA IN THE WOOORLD HA!!!!!!!! And I'm sorda saving up for Lash Blast ultra. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Kyoko is sitting on my lap this very moment and she keeps sniffing me. Oh no now I smell fruity too...geez I'm such a geek and weirdo and I'm so fat and ugly but God loves me and that makes everything ok. And YAYAYAYAYAYAYA I CANT WAIT TO SEE ALEX AGAIN!!!! his dad is a preacher. I love his dad. :) Well I gotta go. ABCDEFG THE GUMMY BEARS ARE AFTER ME ONE IS RED ONE IS BLUE THE OTHER ONE JUST STOLE MY SHOE WHEN I CATCH HIM I WILL SUE THEN I WILL GET BACK TO YOU!!!

_HaNdPrInT_

I Got Stiches!! I couldn't get a pic of it on here though...

2009-04-06T17:31:00.000-07:00

It was so awesome!! My stitches I mean...Ok so I was at youth group and it was raining and being the crazy, dumb, and weirdo girl I am I decided I wanted to dance in the rain. But as I was running outside I slipped on the tile and this metal thing on the side of the wall went into my leg. I didn't know I was bleeding or that I was even really hurt until someone pointed out that my leg was gushing out blood. It was sooo much blood...I stained the carpet up pretty bad too. So they were trying to make the blood stop, and they did and I didn't cry one bit!! Well until they told me that I needed stitches. I really like the smell of hospitals, and the people there are usually so nice. But I don't like it when they poke things into me or touch me or anything like that. That's why I hate shots. I know that sounds stupid coming from a person who has cut herself before on purpose, but I guess as long as I'm the one cutting or poking myself with a sharp object, I don't really care. Lol while I was sitting on the chair and they were putting pressure on my leg, I kept on asking for Alex because I really wanted to see him. But I can't believe I started bawling just because I didn't want to get stitches...but I didn't like the idea of thread going INSIDE of my leg. Ugh they kept on saying that Alex was busy...that sucked. Lol this is what I sounded like: "P-Please I-I reeeeally need to see A-Alex...I n-need to see him!" =_= CALLIE'S A BIG WHINY BABY HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok lol anywayz...My mom came and you know my friend Aly, right? Well she came with me to the hospital and when I got in the waiting room I saw this one chunky emo girl who was crying and I felt so sorry for her. That's also why I don't like going to hospitals because I feel sorry for those people there for weeks. I also saw this other girl crying and clutching her stomach and she looked anorexic. I'll be praying for her. LOL YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME AND ALY THOUGH!!! We were laughing about EVERYTHING. When they took my blood pressure, the machine was making this little beeping noise and me and Aly were cracking up! And as you know, hospital equipment makes lots of beeping noises, so we were laughing allot. The nurse kept looking at me funnily but she thought it was cute. And then when we got to the room I had to put on this gown and I have a big butt so I was ashamed LOL and also I felt naked :P And I kept on asking if the stitches were going to hurt and the nurse kept on saying no. Then they put numbing jell on my leg and let it sit there. Then the doctor came in and that doctor was so CUTE!!!!!!! He was handsome and adorable. Lol it reminded me of house. Then he stitched me up and I didn't watch but I wish I did. But my stitches are so cool and freaky at the same time. Whooooooooooo ok just thought I'd share that story with ya. Also I'm bored and my leg kinda hurts. But anyways...Thanks for reading this if you did :). Love you guys! Hey and also I might not post in a while after this post cuse nothing exciting will probably happen for awhile...geez my life is so boring...byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

_HaNdPrInT_

I Feel Like A Voo-Doo Doll...

2009-04-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Life totally sucks right now. And I've tried so hard not to cut and its a miracle I haven't. Seriously, I am so so thankful to God, because I made a promise I wouldn't cut again. But when I say I feel like a voo-doo doll I mean that I feel like I'm being jerked around, and everyone is making my decisions for me. And it's so frustrating. And you know about Jason? Well he is totally avoiding me. Maybe it's because I've been hanging around him too much. And Jeff is grounded. Jesse hasn't been a problem. And gosh I can't wait to see Alex again at church because I feel so put together when I'm around him. He makes me feel happy about life. Hey and maybe all this anxiety and depression is because I had to change my medicine around, but on the up side I haven't been eating as much. Eating allot was one of the side affects on my other medicine and also bed-wetting. And also for the first time in awhile I actually feel like writing on my blog, and the words are actually coming out and I remember everything. Maybe it's cuse I need to vent. Oh ya and Jason said he doesn't like emo or goth girls lol and he thinks I'm emo. But I'm not I'm just in love with the color black. My friend Elizabeth says that black reminds her of the devil and hatred, but it's exactly the opposite with me. I feel so happy and safe with the color black, and also blue. I don't like orange, yellow, or anything really bright like that AND I HATE PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Red is ok, it reminds me of blood and that's cool lol. Whoo I don't know what else to write about. I just can't wait to see Alex!!!!!!!!!!! I actually count the days down which is pretty pathetic, but he just makes me so happy. And he skateboards. I wanna skateboard so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. It looks so fun and allot of people I know can do it. Hey hey hey hey hey HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna tell you fav bands!!! WOOT. Ok...Bullet For My Valentine, Three Days Grace, Skillet, Breaking Benjamin, Coheed and Cambria, BarlowGirl, Fall Out Boy, and I really like Krystal Meyers....my fav TV shows are Law and Order, CSI, House, and Flapjack. BLEH this is all so boring, I'm boring you guys out ARENT I!!!!???? Maybe if I went to public school and If my mom didn't read my posts there would be more interesting stuff!!!! Ew not gross stuff :P. Anyways...I don't know what else to write about. I wanted this to be a really long post but I don't know if it's gunna be...OH I KNOW IM GONNA SHOW YOU MORE CUTE ICONS OK::::::::::::::::

Ya I know their dark just like the other ones, but not AS dark...anywayz, this is a long enough post I guess so I better go. Bye...Oh ya and I wanted to show you guys the lyrics from Krystal Meyers, The Situation. It's real touching...so here it is:

She’s finding love in the back of a car when is it too late? Have they gone too far? She’s having trouble drawing the line, But she knows she wants to feel beautiful. She struggles finding self-respect, She’ll wake up feeling regret, Her purity's been compromised, But she knows she wants to feel beautiful. A promise made to treasure, You don’t have to give it away, Falling for the pressure You can’t mend a vow when it breaks, Explain your hesitation, Jesus can be your escape, Don’t taint the situation, This love was made to wait.~ He's living life out on the edge, Gotta make a move, Move it onto the bed, Temptation whispers in his head: Believe the lie Suck it up and be a man. He'll trade her heart For a trophy, Put it on the shelf, So his friends can see,He has what it takes to get what he wants, Tonight’s the night Suck it up and be a man! What’s wrong? I can see the fear behind your eyes.You’re scared you might walk away unsatisfied. God's love Is the only love to fill the void, He's reachin’ out Just turn around And hold on!

Awwwww...so wait until your married everyone, K?

_HaNdPrInT_

Really long post but because I haven't posted in awhile :D

2009-03-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

Yay I made some new friends!! Haha...their names are Jason and Jeff. They live really close to me and their really nice. I like them allot, their funny and my friend Elizabeth says that she thinks they like me :) Today I went over to Jason's house and watched him and his dad fix up this cool little motercycle...they have LOTS of bikes. Jason really likes Jesse the guinea pig. And Jesse likes him too LOL. Then Jeff came over (gosh I really want him to teach me to skatebourd) and we went to this little boy's house named Jesse and he LOVES Kyoko, his family liked the guinea pigs. I feel so much more happy now that I have some friends, and I don't feel guilty about not going to high school. But I still have been having anxiety at night and it bothers me allot. But since I've been watching House and also Law and Order at night it's been distracting me so I won't feel bad. And that helps allot. Geez I don't know what else to write about. There's allot that's been going on but whenever I get to the computer I loose all that I was about to say and it's so annoying. And have any of you seen the commercial for The Haunting in Conneticut? I know I shouldn't watch scary movies because it kicks up my anxiety but that movie looks really good. And really scary LOL. I also really want to see The Other Boleyn Girl but it has lots of unnessisary sexual stuff in it and they twist the whole story about the Boleyn's around. I know ALL about the Boleyn's and King Henry VIII...ya and you can go ahead and call me a geek for being obsessed with the kings and queens back then but I don't really care. :) Anyways...well I'm grounded because I jumped on my friends trampoline and my parents say that that if I ever jump on a trampoline only two people can be on it. And that's a stupid rule. If I get hurt it should be my own problem.

Ya those are my fav icons aren't they cute? I know their all depressing and stuff but I really like them more then the happy ones. O gosh I have to show you guys the lyrics to This is Halloween from The Nightmare Before Christmas, it's so COOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
♥♥♥♥
Boys and girls of every age Wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see This, our town of Halloween This is Halloween, this is Halloween Pumpkins scream in the dead of night This is Halloween, everybody make a scene Trick or treat till the neighbours gonna die of fright It's our town, everybody scream In this town of Halloween! I am the one hiding under your bed Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red! I am the one hiding under your stairs, Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair...This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song. In this town, don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next surprise. Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll scream! Scream! This is Halloween! Red 'n' black, slimy green! Aren't you scared? Well, that's just fine. Say it once, say it twice, Take the chance and roll the dice, Ride with the moon in the dead of night! Everybody scream, everybody scream!! In our town of Halloween! I am the clown with the tear-away face, Here in a flash and gone without a trace. I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?" I am the wind blowing through your hair. I am the shadow on the moon at night Filling your dreams to the brim with fright...This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Tender lumplings everywhere, Life's no fun without a good scare. That's our job, but we're not mean in our town of Halloween. In this town, Don't we love it now? Everyone's waiting for the next surprise! Skeleton jack might catch you in the back, And scream like a banshee, Make you jump out of your skin!This is Halloween, everyone scream! Won't ya please make way for a very special guy? Our man jack is king of the pumpkin patch, Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song EVERYONE La la-la la, Halloween! Halloween! (etc.)

Cool right?

_HaNdPrInT_

"Wet Pants" The Cutest Little Story Ever...

2009-03-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

"Wet Pants"

LOL got it from another blog.

Come with me to a third grade classroom... ..There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden,there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it..When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat."He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered. As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself,"Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!" Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out.All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else -Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. "You've done enough, you klutz! " Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good. Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith."When God Answers your Prayer He is increasing your Faith, When He delays, He is increasing your Patience,When He Don't Give U Anything, He has Something BETTER"

Lol cute isn't it? Well I didn't have much to say for a post because nothing much has happened. So I just decided to put this on here instead of a regular post. But me and my family went to Kentucky :) Kinda boring there tho.

_HaNdPrInT_

The Donut Man Will Come And Get All Of You Pie Lovers

2009-03-08T18:07:00.000-07:00

This week has been much better, but I've still had a hard time with my depression. And you know how I told you guys how I've been gaining allot of weight? Well I think that's because of all the stress. Also at Church we did this little survey thing where the teacher asked you questions about your life, and how much stress and noise is in it, and I scored 85 which was the highest in the class. LOL There is NO silence, non-stop worrying and just so much NOISE!! One of the questions was do you wake up in the middle of the night worrying, and I was the only one who answered yes. That was probably one of the most touching and honest Sunday school classes I've ever had. Everyone now knows that I have depression and anxiety issues and that I have a therapist, and I didn't really want them to know that, but when I was talking it just all spilled out. Everyone was so silent and I got a few hugs and pats on the back. I don't like it that they feel sorry for me. It makes me feel pathetic and just like a baby. UGH THEY FELT SORRY FOR ME!!! I HATE that so much. Now they'll be treating me differently. They may treat me nicer but still....LOL I went to youth group tonight and we played broom ball. I said hi to everyone in the ice skating rink!! Some of my friends helped me. You know how I told you about Brock? Well he's supposed to email me...also when we where in the bus it made me think of school...you know before I was home schooled. I've been thinking about maybe I DO want to go to high school but I'm not sure. I just think that everyone should get a shot at high school because that's one of the biggest times in your life. I can't make up my mind. And my friend Aly is so sad that I probably won't go to high school, because her friends are all going to East high school and she's going to North. Only her friend Ashley is going to North and their not really that close. I wish I could be there for her so badly, I know how she feels, being alone. But she isn't really, all the guys like her, she's had like 15 boyfriends the past two years, and I've NEVER had a true boyfriend that actually cared for me. She had her freaking first kiss. I know I'm a little jealous, but most people would be. Haha I'm holding Kyoko she's sitting on my arm. I helped cleaned out my friend garage and also I spent the night at her house. It was so fun!!! WE were watching TV and this guy on there got mad at this other guy and he started screaming and he made this really funny face he LOOKED LIKE A CHICKEN MAN LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!! Now we bring up the chicken man whenever we need to make each other laugh. When we where cleaning out the garage though, she kept on pulling out stuff and kept on asking me if I wanted it, so I ended up keeping some lotion and body gel, some make up and some clothes. LOL she was basically shoving the things in my arms begging me to keep it. Her sister also gave me a purse. It's so pretty. Wow this was a long post...GOODBYE!!!
Also go to my Imeem page: http://www.imeem.com/people/PEhKu7Z

_HaNdPrInT_

♥!!!~♥•My 50th Post!!!!!!•♥~!!!♥

2009-03-01T11:59:00.000-08:00

My sister got eye surgery. Wow, um that was straightforward but...anyways, she's better now. Now you might be wondering how my depression has been. Or you might be screaming at the computer because you DON'T want me to tell you, but I think I might tell you anyway. It's been Ok, but I've been having some anxiety attacks at night. Last night I didn't get to sleep until 6:30 in the morning!!!!! Maybe that's because I slept almost the whole day and I wasn't tired. But I was tired I just couldn't fall asleep. I don't really know what to talk about...I did know what to talk about but then when I sat down at the computer, I forgot all that I was going to say. Ugh my dad is being so annoying, he keeps on trying to see what I'm typing. The only person I feel comfortable with read my posts in this family is my mom and that's it. Oh ya and this is my 50th post!!! YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's allot of posts, I feel so professional!! Oh I think my mom is getting up, she's been sleeping. We've all been fighting colds. I've had a really bad cold and I'm still fighting it so I don't think I'll be going to youth group tonight. Also....ummmmmmm......haha my bra has been getting tighter. YAY I'M FINALLY GROWING THOUGH YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like it's getting REALLY tight. Ok I wanna talk about guinea pigs. As you all know I have two guinea pigs named Kyoko and Jesse (short for Jessanah) and I love them so much! They have a floor time cage and I connected it to the cage my dad made (AND I HATE IT IT'S TOO SMALL!!!!) and they love it. But I took it apart because i made the floor all messy. Ewww. Why do the piggies have to poop so much!!?? My mom thinks its gross...it kinda is, but still EVERYONE has to poop...ok I'm grossing you out, right? First bra's, now poop? I'm sorry, I really am.
Oh ya!!! But here's a list of some more crazy things I've done!!! COMPARE: HAVE YOU DONE THESE THINGS????
Have you stayed awake the whole night until you saw the sun come up? (Yes) No
Have you watched six straight hours of TV? (New record!!) (Yes) No
Have you watched a movie three times in one day? (Yes) No
Have you watched an open-heart surgery on TV? (Yes) No
Have you ever punched your dad? (I'm not proud of this) (Yes) No
Have you ever fallen in the toilet? (Yes) No
Have you ever accidentally pushed your brother in the toilet? (Yes) No
Have you ever written a 41 page story on Microsoft word? (Yes) No
OK!!!!! My hands hurt. :D
Bye!!

_HaNdPrInT_

Gravestones, Oreo's, Pouring Rain, And The Flu

2009-02-23T18:39:00.001-08:00

Hey guys....I'm just gonna ramble here...I really love the rain. I mean it's so beautiful how it falls so gracefully to the ground. God did such a nice job creating the rain, and while lots of people frown on rainy days, those are the days that make me the happiest. And I probably drive my mom crazy too, because I don't think she likes rain as much as I do, and I'm so perky on those days. I remember when I was small, my parents dropped me off at church for the first time alone. They told me to behave and all that stuff. But all I ate for supper was a few Oreo cookies and afterword I went out and played in the rain until the preacher told me to come in. It was so funny, I was dripping wet!! And then the next day I got the flu. Also...please don't judge me, I'm NOT crazy. I talked to the tombstones there. I don't know why, I just got a feeling of comfort whenever I talked to them. They didn't answer or anything, but just that feeling that someone was there with me (I knew God was there, He is, the tombstones just felt like another friend to me somehow.) I didn't feel alone. I didn't have that many friend at church (well that was my old Church, now I'm at a different church, and I REALLY miss my old church, but I love this new one too.) But at youth group, all of the leaders treat me extra special, I can tell, and so can everyone else. No one is mean to me because of that, but they notice it. I asked Noah (One of my friends there) Why they do that. He told me because I'm special. I told him to define special, and he said that they know I have some sort of depression problems and also because I've hugged everyone there, and they think that's really sweet. But it kinda creeped me out, because I've never told Noah that I've had depression problems. Is it that obvious? I hope it's not. I mean, yea I remove myself from the room sometimes just to breath, but that doesn't mean I have depression. Maybe it's because he caught me crying in the hallway a couple of weeks ago. I don't know...Also I remember at my friend Aly's party, we went to the grave yard (We didn't do anything bad, I promise :D) And we went up to this morgue thing (I think that's what you call it) And there was a family buried in there. I have a huge fascination with gravestones, I love looking at the dates, the names, and so forth. I just LOVE them. My friends thought that was creepy though. They had to leave the cemetery really quickly cause they though they kept on seeing ghosts :P That's just ridiculous. Well...I'm really tired...so goodnight!!

_HaNdPrInT_

Some wierd things I've done and YAY A happy post!

2009-02-23T06:48:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I FEEL GOOD RIGHT NOW!!!!! LOL I'm watching my bro and sis cause my mom is going to this parent teacher conference thing for my little sister. LOL I'm watching It's Me Or The Dog. Have you ever watched that? It's on Animal Planet Yeeesssss iiiiittttt iiiisssss. Alright. I'm gonna tell you another joke. Why did the cookie go to the Doctor? Cause he was all crummy that's why. HAHA. WHY DOES CHEESE TASTE SO GOOOOD? Why is the sky blue?? Alright! I'm gonna make a list of things that I've done, and you have to tell me if you've done any of those things! This is gonna be hard for all of you though because I've done some pretty crazy things. OK HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever eaten yogurt in the snow? (Yes) No
Have you memorized the whole Spongebob Squarepants Movie? (Yes) No
Have you ever eaten guinea pig food? (Yes) No
Have you ever worn clothes in the shower? (Yes) No
Have you ever danced in your underwear and the neighbors saw you by accident? (Yes) No
Have you ever tied your sister to a chair? (Yes) No
Have you ever burst into laughter in a movie theature? (Yes) No
Have you ever hugged a complete stranger? (Yes) No
Have you ever let a guinea pig lick your ear? (Yes) No
Have you ever eaten a whole bag of potato chips in less then a hour? (Yes) No
Have you ever gone a week without a shower? (Yes) No
Have you ever watched TV for 4 whole hours? (Yes) No
Have you ever licked the carpet? (Yes) No

Alright there you go! and yes, you probably think I'm gross. :D

_Handprint_

Annoyed, Angry, Depressed, AND ITS SO HARD TO TYPE RIGHT NOW!!! STUPID COMPUTER!! Throws computer out window

2009-02-22T18:49:00.000-08:00

Ok...my depression has been going off and on and it's really ticking me off. I keep on getting upset about random things and I keep on having to leave the room I'm in so I can just breath. I feel like I'm numb and I'm being suffocated. And my stupid computer keeps going slow. I feel like the poor care bear picture. Awww he's so cute when he's emo though. LOL one of the youth group leaders at church said that I looked so much more happier and that made me feel a little better. But I know I didn't feel as good as he made it sound. Also I made a friend named Brock and he's really sweet. I gave him my email. HAHA. I seriously don't know what to write about and that's making me even more mad and also I'm mad cause I don't know why but I keep on skipping letters when I write and I want to break something. Ugh ok I'm gonna tell you guys some dumb blonde jokes lol.

There were two blondes and one of them came up to some tracks in he dirt. "Oh look, bear tracks!"she said gleefully. But the other blonde shook her head. "No, those are deer tracks." Then they got run over by a train. HAHA. Train tracks. Also: A blonde tried to commit suicide. But when the cops came to her house they saw bullet holes in the mirror. HAAAAHAAA that one's not really funny though. Also I want to tell you guys something. I feel kinda upset because It's so stupid that I just ramble about my life on here and I don't talk about anything or anyone else. I feel selfish. That's also one of the things that keep worrying about. I can't stop worrying!! I feel mean and depressed and I just feel not really all that good Right now. But then I'll have another stupid mood swing and I'll feel ll happy again and then I'll be sad again. AND PEOPLE KEEP ON ASKING ME IF I'M EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't really mind people calling me that, but it's getting annoying. Ugh...........................and I hate this stupid gluten free diet that I'm on. But yea I sorta like it cause then I don't eat that much. You know I used to be a little bit anorexic? I didn't eat for a whole week. I'm tired. And annoyed.

Night...

_Handprint_

SO HYPER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TWITCH HAHAHAHAHAHA

2009-02-17T08:26:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH my hair is so bouncy!!! OK I know I'm hyper, but that's why I'm posting so I won't have another sad post!!!! I WILL HUG YOU!!!!! OMGOSH OMGOSH HAHAHAHAHA I HAVE A GUMMY BEAR ARMY!!!! I feel so hyper I think I'm gonna change my template and make it all bright and happy, IDK!!!!! I love pie!!!! I really love grasshopper pie, and NO IT DOESN'T HAVE GRASSHOPPERS IN IT!!! hahahahaha I love hugs hahah thats why I've hugged EVERYONE at my youth group!! I have the garage sale feeling right now I WANNA GO GARAGE SALEING!!! Ok...why did the chicken cross the road? Cuse he saw a piece of cheese puff on the other side of the road and yea he was a one legged chicken and he was like hopping over to the cheesepuff on the other side of the road and then this truck driver came and smashed into him and the truck drivers name was Steve and he was like OMGOSH IM SO SORRY YOU POOR CHICKEN it was so sad but don't worry the chicken didn't die it just lost it's last leg haha oh and the chicken's name was steve also and the chicken's cousin was named James and the chickens cousin's girlfriend was name SUPERCALIFRAGALISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!!!!! OMGOSH ITS MY FRIEND'S BDAY 2DAY!! HES TURNING 11!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARED!!!! ok I'm gonna tell you more about that chicken!!! He absolutely HATES chicken soup and he likes Oprah and also Dr.Phil cuse he thinks that they have great tips and also he likes Elmo but I don't like Elmo cuse he's scary and his face drips off all the time and I'm not even making any sense but I'm typing so fast I can barely keep up with myself!!! Can you type fast!!?? HAHAHAHA I bet you can't!!! OK I'm doing a contest!! Whoever can tell the funniest joke gets...well I don't know what you get but I'll follow your blog if I'm not already wow I haven't put a period in here in a while this is just a really long sentence I think I'll put a period in here OK??? .......see???I put TONS of periods hahahahahahahahah ewwwwww i hate periods I like !!!!!!! YEA THOSE ARE COOL!!!! WOW THIS IS A LONG HYPER HAPP INTELLIGENT (NOT REALLY) CRAZY ICE CREAM SUGAR CUBE SPRINKLE BUN AHAHAHAHA POST AHAHAHAHA IM NOT MAKING SENSE BUT O WELL HAHAAHAHAHA I LOVE LAUGHING THIS IS SO FUN I'M S HAPPY I LOVE PLUTO WHY DID THEY SAY ITS NOT A PLANET IT IS HAHAHAHAHAH BYE!!!!!!!!

_HANDPRINT_ hahahahahah HAHAHAHAHAHA BWHAHAHAHAHAHA *twitch*

I Feel So Annoyed And Angry And I Don't Know Why

2009-02-16T12:39:00.000-08:00

Ugh I feel terrible. I just want to blow up something >:( Geez I'm such a nudge. Someone could be having a perfectly fine, perfectly happy day, and then they go to my blog and get bummed out because of my posts. UGH I KEEP ON SPELLING THINGS WRONG!!! And m computer's going slow, and I can't find a good template for my blog...I feel so aaaaangry. Bleh...You know a boy at the library asked me if I was emo. LOL I told him yes and he looked scared. HAHAHAHA. Also I went ice skating and these three guys kept on asking me for my my space page and they were following me everywhere. I called them desperate jerks. Then they flipped me off. Also I joined this fan fiction website and i entered my Naruto story. lot of people like. JWEAFUIGRUKQEGFIUQEGEUWU I KEEP ON MESSING UP IN MY TYPING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL SO ANGRY GOSH I WANT TO BLOW UP A GIANT CHEESEBURGER OR SOMETHING AHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH gosh......whew I feel better now lol....here's a poem i wrote:
I Know It…Or Do I? I know you love me, I really, really do.You must love me,Because I love you too!When I look at you,It's hard to look away,When I'm right beside you, We always have to stay,When you sing to me softly,The words don't leave my head,They haunt me, and haunt me,Until I go to bed.You call me your girl,I call you my boy,But do we really mean it?….I don't think we do.We fight, We argue,We hit,And we twist,And I can't keep track Of all the different boys I've kissed.You flirt with other girls,You always drive them home,And on our anniversary, All you bought me was a comb.….But I love you, I do,But do you love me too?I'm having second thoughts On this relationship thing,I'll get back to you later…There's guy I'm supposed to meet;He's a cute Chinese guy that I met Named Ping……And where's your other girlfriend named Laura?Did you give her your famous "So Mora"?If you did………..I don't think I love you anymore. UGH it messed up. I copied and pasted from Microsoft word and it got all scrunched up...but oh well....i know its a terrible poem but...
i like pie...

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♥Some Love Poems And Sayings 4 Valentines Day!!♥

2009-02-12T07:23:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know I used this picture again, I love it!! I'm deciding to do ANOTHER post because my last one was too sad and moody. :D

So here are some cute love peoms and sayings. ♥ Just for Valentines Day!!

You are what happened when I wished upon a star, You’ve made me realize that I’ve always been missing something I never even knew I wanted, It’s not that I can’t live without you, It’s that I don’t even want to try; When I first saw you, I was afraid to talk to you; When I first talked to you, I was afraid to like you; When I first liked you, I was afraid to love you; Now that I love you,I’m afraid to lose you ♥

Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence. ~David Byrne♥Love is a game that two can play and both win. ~Eva Gabor♥Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved. ~Christopher Paul Rubero♥We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. ~Author Unknown♥You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry. ~Author Unknown♥I ran up the door, opened the stairs,said my pajamas and put on my prayers -turned off my bed, tumbled into my light,and all because he kissed me good-night!~Author Unknown♥Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold. ~Zelda Fitzgerald♥I love that smile of yours, So cute and loving. I love that voice of yoursSo deep and caring. I love those hands of yours, So warm and strong. I love yours eyes, So grey and shining. I love the beat of your heart...Cause my love for you increases, As your heart takes another beat. I love everything you are, Cause I know, you are for me!♥Boys are always confused by girls because we always expect too much and girls are always confused by boys because they dont always give what we expect.

Awww aren't those so cute!!?? Sorry it wasn't well put together, but my computer has issues 2day :P

Thanx 4 coming!! ♥♥♥ Happy Valentines Day!!!

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................ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............

2009-02-11T20:19:00.000-08:00

Hey guys...right now my depression is TERRIBLE. I feel angry and just terrible...I want to be more beautiful and I just want to live like I used to when I barely knew what depression was. And my mom is annoying me to death I just wanna throw a pie at her face!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!....And I've been eating ALLOT and I do that when I'm stressed and I absolutely HATE that. Right now I feel emo and mean and stupid and ugly and weird and just messed up. I've even been crying myself to sleep. I hate it. I hate all of this. This could be easily compared to hell. Well, maybe. I'm falling inside the darkness. That's a quote from a singer I like called Kerli Koiv...she's really cool, but she doesn't act as godly as she should...everyone thinks she's a Christian, and maybe she is, I don't know. I also like Skillet and Three Days Grace. They are Rock/Punk/Heavy metal..They are really cool. Hey, and you know what? Listening to music can change my mood. I can get constant mood swings by just listening to the radio. That's why I don't listen to the radio that much, because the songs remind me of difficult things and it makes me depressed. It's so annoying, because I don't feel normal when I have to AVOID the radio. Ugh my eyes are watering up right now just thinking about all of this stuff...Does everyone have this? Does every teenager go through this depression crap? I HATE IT!!! I'm NEVER HAPPY ANYMORE!!!! I just want to scream so badly, but no one will let me!!! I feel like I'm in THIS STUPID LITTLE BUBBLE!!!!! And it won't let me GO!!!! I'm so angry I want to hurt someone. And I hate hurting people. But I think I hurt EVERYONE when I'm like this, but I can't help it!! I hate that I have all this anxiety, because I'm afraid that one day when I tell my mom that I have anxiety, she won't believe me because it's been happening so long!!!! She doesn't even believe that I really have depression, but she has no idea was kind of hell I've been going through for the past through months. I AM NOT OVER EXAGGERATING. I am dead serious. I had to stop myself from going down stares, pulling out a freakin knife, and jabbing myself with it. I'm so sorry that you all have to hear this...I'm being so selfish putting this out here and probably scaring you guys, And if you don't want to talk to me that's fine. I'm even scaring myself. I know this isn't how God wants me to feel, and if He's trying to teach me something, then I'll learn it. I'll do ANYTHING for Him. I have definitely grown stronger in Him with all of this anxiety stuff. When I think of Him I feel affection. I know He cares for me, even though it feels like He doesn't sometimes. I try and act happy around everyone so they won't be affected, but it's hard. I try to act silly so I feel better, but it doesn't work anymore. It's scary, and I feel so alone. I HATE the word alone. It's so scary................Ugh bed time.
Later...

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Feeling better, but my depression is still bugging me..but I did lots of fun things!! READ!!

2009-02-09T07:19:00.000-08:00

Hey guys...my depression hasn't really been any better, but my anxiety has been better. Though last night I had trouble falling asleep. LOL have any of you heard of Fred? He's this really funny guy on YouTube, and I think he's a Christian. LOL he's so funny! He's becoming famous. My friend Aly told me about him, and I love watching his little web shows. Hey, and do any of you feel like someone is watching you, and they could jump out any second to get you? I feel like that. Maybe it;s cause I watched a little bit of Scary Movie 3. Stay away from those movies you guys. I went to a B-Day party with Aly, and there was a girl there named Bree, and she really got on my nerves. She called me a baby when in the movie I hid my face cause there was this girl and her face was all twisted and green and it fell off. That would scare anybody who had depression and anxiety problems. She was really nasty too. She kept on saying that she was going over to her boyfriends house and do him. :P That's just gross. And when we went in the grave yard to look at the baby tomb stones she kept on saying that she could see demons floating around the stones. it was annoying. She kept on cussing too, and she was so loud. She flipped off a police officer. I'm glad he ignored her, or we would be in trouble. And we saw a dead squirrel on the side of the road and she picked it up...Ewwww....thr poor squirrel. LOL but Aly's sisters were so cute! She told me they were brats though LOL. But I would say the same thing about my brother, he can get REALLY annoying. Right now he's watching the Tigger Movie Haha. My favorite is Piglet!! He's so cute!! But my ultimate fav is Tigger, cuse I think I'm just like him!! YAY!! Me and my mom went to Goodwill and I got these cute PJ pants Haha I'm wearing them right now. I also got this cool shirt and a Beanie Baby, and a CD and a book. Then we went to San Suci (Another thrift store) And I got this beautiful BIG long dress for only 2 dollars. LOL everyone was asking me if I was going to wear it to Prom. I also got ZoeGirl which is an AWESOME Christian music band. I love them! I also got a blanket for the guinea pigs (AND THEY LOVE IT!!! AHHHHH!!!!) And some other cool stuff. I also went ice skating...I love ice skating. I've been doing it for 7 or 8 years. I met some of my old friends, and we had so much fun!! (Have I already told you this?) We put a wig on one of the guys and made his skate around asking all the guys if they were attracted to him it was so fun!! But I go some blisters on my feet..They still hurt :P...but that's oooooook.....geez I don't know what else to talk about...but go check out Fred on YouTube! You just type in Fred in the search thingy and you should find him. he's really funny and he's pretty clean. Bye!

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I'm feeling better, but I still want to rip somebody's head off :P

2009-02-06T09:54:00.000-08:00

I love this picture so much. I wish I could look like her. :D I'm doing better today but I'm still have flashes of depression and anxiety. But thanks to all you guys, I'm feeling allot better. Your comments are very supportive, and I love you all! Do you like my new template better? I accidentally messed up my other template, and I couldn't fine it again, so I just decided with this. I know it looks kinda plain, but i've given up on looking for the "perfect" background. It's such a waste of time. I hate that on Pyzam that when you get a template, it deletes all your widgets. It's such a pain to put them back on. That's why i only changed my background when I was in a good mood. LOL sorry I talked about PMSing in my last post, that was kinda awkward. Gosh I still feel like I wanna hit someone. But THANK YOU SO MUCH JILLIAN, EMMA, AND JAMES!!!! You guys are so sweet! Aww I love green and blue haha. Hey and I think I'm over my "emo stage". I can actually look at bright colors now without having to shield my eyes :D. Although I was respected by emo people on the internet, and now I'm not (at least by them) but that shows how good of friends they were :P Hey I'm gonna ask you all a question! OK which is your favorite holiday? Answer when you comment. Well, if you want to that is. Also, who here likes Fall Out Boy. I think they are the same as My Chemical Romance. Their just kinda crude. Pete Wentz (He's the electric guitar player I think) said that he is addicted to porn. Now I will make a promise RIGHT now. I will never marry a man who is obsessed with porn or is a womanizer. Their just weird, and they wouldn't love you as much as a faithful husband would. I've been praying to God about "The one" , you know, the guy I will marry someday. I hope he's cute :D but that's not all that matters. I want him to be Christian definitely. I also want my friends to be Christians, most of them are, but some of them aren't and I guess that's ok. Maybe them being around me will turn them into Christians, I don't know. But I love all my friends, their so supportive and nice!! AND ALSO THEY LIKE PIE!!! Hey, this is one of my more positive posts, my mom will be happy, LOL. WELL I better get going, I have to do my chores. :D

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I'm angry and depressed I really want to push someone over a cliff and I want chocolate!!

2009-02-04T14:45:00.000-08:00

Hmm...today...has been OK but not really. I hate PMSing, I'm very dangerous. I almost killed Jesse, my imaginary boyfriend last night. I want to bite something. Now don't worry all you guys, I won't describe my PMS symptoms so...I don't know what to talk about. I think I'm gonna write a horror story after I finish up See-It-Believe-It-Consequences. I think I'm gonna call it When Life Gives You Lemons...You Make...Grape Juice? LOL I know it's lame. OK...do you guys ever feel like someone is calling you and they probably aren't? I keep on hearing this woman's voice calling my name. Her voice is so soothing and soft but it's making me kinda scared. Do you think maybe my birth mom? Maybe she IS in Heaven and is calling me from the above. HAHAHA that sounded weird. But anyway...I've been praying like crazy for her, and I love her so much even though I barely know her. But I'm sure when I find her she'll love me too. Maybe. Have any of you ever read Romeo and Juliet? (Sorry I change the subject so much...) It's so hard to read. I don't even know what the heck their talking about. But I have a feeling it has something to do with pancakes (:D JK) ......I'm so bored...can you die from boredom? Like maybe you can have a seizure or something...I don't know...HAHAHA MY TEETH FEEL MINTY FRESH!!!!! Sorry for that random outburst I love mint though. Bubble Gum toothpaste tastes bad...maybe it's cause that's the only kind I used when In was a kid, I don't know. Oh, I know I'm boring you I must be LOL I'm so bored I'm starting something about toothpaste. I hate the dentist. I don;t mean the person who does my teeth, I just don't like toothpaste or anything that's gross like that. I have severe phobia of going to the dentist, I hyperventilate in the van. I have to go like 2 times a year it's so stupid. I NEVER WANT TO GO!!!! I want to barf when I get inside cause I hate the smell of the dentists. They smell like camels. I've smelled a camel before...I've also smalled a horse...and you don't want to smell a guinea pig when it's constipated or when it has diariah. Ewwww. Hye and do any of you like My Chemical Romance? Their a little disgusting and they cuss allot but some of their songs are fine...What's the point of cussing anyway? It's so stupid, it doesn't mean anything, it's just a crude word. I have no right to really speak about not cussing, because I do it allot when I'm in my room. I'm so thankful that it doesn't slip out when I'm out of my room. I don't know what started my cussing, maybe it's just a thing about growing up, but I don't like it. My mind scolds me whenever I cuss and I feel guilty. Kinda weird, huh? Especially when other people have no problem with cussing. I'm not criticizing anyone who does, but still...and don't you just hate people who cuss in every single sentence they use? It's so annoying. Their just faker's.I'm hungry.Bye!

I'm falling right in that black depressing hole again...it's like yesterday didn't happen

2009-02-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

I know, I finally used a different picture...I'm going right back in depression. This sucks poptart crumbs. Geez it's like yesterday didn't even happen, I feel all sad again. Maybe it's cuse I'm PMSing I don't know. This is so stupid, being a teenager bites. I like being young, but sometimes I wish hormones didn't exist :P By the way, there was this guy that emailed me from Imeem ( a music site) and he was like in his twenties, and so I blocked him. I won't talk to any guy over 16, I made that rule up for myself. It's too dangerous and I don't wanna die. Some times I do, but right now I value my life. WOW I went to my therapist and like right in the middle of when we were talking, I yelled out, "I like pie!" It was so embarrassing, I didn't even mean to yell it out. I guess I shout out random stuff when I'm stressed or something. Hi Jillian, Emma, Jared and James if your reading this!!! ALSO HI MOM!!!! My friend told me I was the queen of randomness. Ugh is it normal for guinea pigs to eat their own poop? Cuse Kyoko is in my lap right now and she keeps bending over and eating her poop. You know you can Only drink your pee once in your life? I'm sorry...I know, gross, but still this is an online diary so...anywayz...I'm bloated...yea...PMSing is terrible...all you guys are so lucky, you have no idea. Gosh and I really want some pie. Like REALLY bad. I keep on dreaming about pie. And also lava lamps. I have one but it takes for ever for the play dough stuff in the inside to start moving around. GOSH I FEEL TERRIBLE!!!! Right now I want to die, I really feel like cutting right now, and it's taking all of my will power not to. Do all teenage girls have this problem? Allot of my friends tell me they've cut before. I have one guy friend that's cut and another online who's name is Kiah. He's cool He's from Japan. Also...I keep on thinking about the Titanic. It's so weird how these things always pop in my head at the strangest moments. Do you think you can imagine all of those people, children, everyone screaming as the ship went down? it's terrible. I'm glad I wasn't there...I wonder if my birthmom has a good education. Hey and also thanx Jillian, Emma, and James cuse ur comments are always helpful and I really love you guys!!! ..........I'm hungry....
BYE

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I'm feeling so happy, and also full cause I drank 3 cans of root beer!!

2009-02-01T17:12:00.000-08:00

Hey guys whats up? I'm posting this from my uncle's house, so I can't put my picture in here. Nothings really going on except that I finally have enough money to buy all the books I want at the library book sale! Yes, I am obsessed with books. But that doesn't mean I'm a geek, and don't call ANYONE that, it's mean. LOL I sound like a mother. Anyways, I've been on this new medicine that supposed to help me with my depression and anxiety, and it's really helping! I feel so happy and free, I think God is finally answering my prayers! O, and by the way, I couldn't go to youth group tonight, we had a family thing. (That's why I'm typing on my uncle's keyboard :D) And I'm so full! I've had 3 pieces of pizza, 5 mini wieners, 2 strawberries, and a handful of chips! (Not to mention three can of root beer ;) LOL) Also my aunt gave me two big plants for my room! (I'm an evirementalist and I absolutely ADORE plants and animals. I'm also pro-life, I'm COMPLETELY against abortion :D) LOL my family is watching the Superbowl. What's so great about football anyway? I never really got it, and I don't think I want to. It looks and sounds so boring. (Sorry all you football lovers, football just doesn't click with me) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so happy I think I could go out and buy a pink shirt! (Which is VERY rare, I have like no pink clothes :P) O and I forgot to tell you guys! I redid my guinea pig cage! It's so cool! It's much bigger and it'll be easier to clean, I feel like so much has been lifted off of me, this cage is awesome! And the piggies like it better I can tell, and their not fighting as much. LOL My brother just came over to me laughing, showing a weird picture of my uncle to me....I love this happy feeling. This feeling reminds me of my mom, and that feeling is so comforting. (My birth mom I mean, but of course I love my mom now :D) I remember I used to dream before bed, thinking if she was asleep now or still awake, maybe on the other side of the world. Sometimes I find myself dreaming like that now, usually only when I'm depressed. Oh, and also you know that game I told you about? The Legend Of Zelda, Majora's Mask? Well I got three more masks all by myself! Also my friend Zac came over and helped me out with that. Oh, an some other news, I'm completely over my cutting thing! OK MY BROTHER IS GETTING ANNOYING!!!! HIS LAUGH IS SO OBNOXIOUS AND LOUD!!!!!!!! Bleh anyway..I better go....bye! :D

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Did cutting really help me? Or was it just a way of venting?.......I like pie....

2009-01-28T07:26:00.000-08:00

Yea, I asked myself that question last night...cutting is seriously addictive...WOW it's snowing so much in Indiana...HAHA me and my brother ate snow yesterday we had to go to the bathroom so bad after eating about 2 pounds of snow LOL. Hey and just wondering, do any of you feel like you just have to keep believing in something no matter how many times someone tells you to give up? That's me...I really want to find my birth mom, and I'm old enough I AM. But I don't think I'm ready to meet my birth dad though. I hope their still living in Indiana. I know I talk about them allot, but their just always on my mind. Hey and you know what emo is? LOL it's allot less dark then goth, it's much more Harry Potter. I got that from a friend. You guys have to read this!_A REAL BOYFRIEND_When she walks away from you mad - [Follow her]When she stares at your lips - [Kiss her]When she pushes you or hits you - [Grab her and don’t let go]When she starts cursing at you - [Kiss her and tell her you love her]When she's quiet - [Ask her what’s wrong]When she ignores you - [Give her your attention]When she pulls away - [Pull her back]When you see her at her worst - [Tell her she's beautiful]When you see her start crying - [Just hold her and don’t say a word]When you see her walking - [Sneak up and hug her waist from behind]When she's scared - [Protect her]When she lays her head on your shoulder - [Tilt her head up and kiss her]When she steals your favorite hat - [Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]When she teases you - [Tease her back and make her laugh]When she doesn’t answer for a long time - [reassure her that everything is okay]When she looks at you with doubt - [Back yourself up with the TRUTH]When she says that she likes you - [she really does more than you could understand]When she grabs at your hands - [Hold hers and play with her fingers]When she bumps into you - [bump into her back and make her laugh]When she tells you a secret - [keep it safe and untold]When she looks at you in your eyes - [don’t look away until she does]WHEN SHE MISSES YOU - [SHES HURTING INSIDE]When you break her heart - [the pain NEVER EVER really goes away]When she says its over - [she STILL wants you to be hers]- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything- DON'T let her have the last word- NEVER call her hot! Pretty and beautiful is sooooo much better!- Say you love her more than she could ever love you (mean it)- Argue that she is the best girl ever (mean it)- When she says she's OK don’t believe it, talk with her- When she says she's sorry, she truly means it- Because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you- Tease her and let her tease you back- Stay up all night with her when she's sick- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid- Give her the world- Let her wear your clothes- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her- Let her know she's important- Kiss her in the pouring rain&& When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;"Who's butt am I kicking today baby?"
That is so sweet, I can even describe it LOL. That's the kind of boyfriend I want...and I also want him to be emo LOL.

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I'm trying to turn my depression into joy..but it's hard...especially when your love sick

2009-01-24T18:17:00.000-08:00

I'm so lovesick I think I'm going to cry. I know I'm not good enough for any boy because I've tried to hard for my whole life and have never been successful. Is something wrong with me? My whole life I have been a hopeless romantic and my whole life I've dreamed about my future husband. I always wondered when he would come. Yea, everyone says that God will send the perfect man for you, God has everything planned out. I'm sure he does have everything planned out, but still I'm getting impatient. Right now is the time I need love the most, because depression is suffocating me to death. I need to get out of my home, out of this state, I need to make a fresh start, I need to escape. You know when your listening to your music in the car, and while looking out the window your imagination starts up? My imagination is my best friend because it always comes up when I need it. It turns bad things into funny things and it really helps. I wonder if my birth mom was like that. That's one reason why I wanna see my mom so bad, so that I can see how much we have in common...And I want to meet my birth dad too. Me and my dad right now don't have a strong relationship right now, and I don't want a Strong relationship with him either. I think I could have a stronger relationship with my birth dad...I don't know why, maybe because were actually related, or something like that. I don't know how to explain the feeling I have when I'm around my dad now, but I don't like it. It's a mix of violation/hatred, something like that. I don't know why I feel violated when I'm around him, I just...well...I feel so uncomfortable around him. Theres nothing in my mind that can change that, theres no voice that tells me that's bad, theres no affection at all with him. And for some reason i don't want any either. But...I also want to meet my real sister. I've always wanted an older sister that actually pays attention to me. My sister now is ok, but I can see that she's uncomfortable around me for some reason. It really hurts me, because as much as I want an older sister I can look up to, she's really a letdown. She's just made too many mistakes in her life for anyone to trust her I guess. But I would trust her, so why doesn't she at least respect me for that? Did I do something wrong, maybe when I was small? I don't know...

But anyways...I should probably close up because I have to get my shower...tomorrow I have church and I can't wait to see my new guy friend, Brock! He's such a sweetie and I can tell that he likes me allot too. I also have a friend named Noah and another named James...they've been helping me allot with my depression. Also one of my guy friends knows that I cut because he saw my arms and he's trying to help me get though all of that. They all care about me, and that's what I need.

^_^

Oh and by the way:

A best friend is someone who screams to you in the hallway saying,"I LOVE YOU,"not caring if anyone thinks they'rea lesbian, only caring that you hear them EVERY TIME.

LOL got that from a friend, see ya.

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This is an email I sent to some of my friends...I decided to make it a post..

2009-01-23T20:28:00.001-08:00

Sorry. But I think this message is going to be long. But I seriously need to vent. I feel like I wanna hurt myself, and I don't even know why. Do you ever feel like no one is there, and your all alone and no one can help you? Well that's how I feel right now. I'm going insane! Like usually, I NEVER capitalize things when I'm writing emails, but here I am, writing with perfect punctuation and capitalization. Ugh, I have no friends. Well, I have a few, but only a few guys. That's because I'm home schooled, and I don't think I wanna go out of homeschooling, but I don't know. High school sounds so scary, ya know? And also, I keep on worrying about my birth mom. I'm adopted, and my birth mom is out there somewhere, and I'm so worried about her. Do you think she believes in God? I hope she does, cause I don't want her to go to hell! That's one of my worst fears. I'm also scared of dying alone. With no husband or family, I don't want to be alone, because death is scary for me even though I know I'm going to Heaven because I believe in God. Also, I go to youth group every Sunday night, and I really like this guy but I don't think he likes me. He brought this cheerleader with him last Sunday, I don't know if he did it to make me jealous or what, but it worked, because I am a jealous wreck. I think I'm just going to ignore him though and see if he starts liking me then. He probably won't. Do you think I should make this a blog post? Maybe I should, because I don't know what else to write for a blog post. Nothings been happening here where I live. Indiana is a boring state. I want to move to Japan. I guess this email won't only be for venting, but also so that you can get to know me more, because I think you want to be my friend, right? Wow, my hands hurt from all of this typing, but I have to keep typing so I don't loose it. You know how I have guinea pigs? Well whenever I touch one of them on the legs she bites me. Is that normal? I don't know if that is. I want to take her to the vet, but economy has been bad in the USA for awhile. I hope Obama can fix that. But why don't we just print more money? That would make things allot easier, ya know? Jeez, people are gonna think that this isn't an email because it's so put together. I can't believe it''s this put together! This is my longest email I've EVER written. This venting is helping by the way, I love you so much if you've read through this whole thing.
Gosh my hands are hurting so bad. I think I'm gonna have to stop. I think I might send this to some of my other friends too...well, bye!
I know it's weird I made that a post, but I guess it's OK as well...Hey and guys, can you tell me something? Is this website slow on your computer? If it is, tell me so I can fix it up, cause I don't want it to be slow. And just to let you guys know, I have severe anxiety, so I worry about things like that. It gets kinda annoying at times. I also have depression issues and sleep issues. And some other issues as well, but I won't go into those. Sorry I'm making this post even longer by rambling, but I've been so stressed out lately. Sorry for wasting your time if you found this blog post revolting, but if you liked it, I LOVE YOU!!!! Goodnight...God loves you!

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The more you look in the mirror, the more your going to be asking yourself, "Why can't I be more beautiful?"

2009-01-20T17:38:00.000-08:00

This picture looks so good with my blog. Am I right?
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I do that allot. I look in the mirror, studying my face, and pointing out the imperfections. I have to remind myself constantly that God made me for who I was, and no matter what anyone else thinks, God thinks I'm beautiful. It's so hard to shove the thoughts out of my mind though. All of the "What ifs" always squeeze themselves into my thoughts. "What if I was Taylor Swift? What if I was beautiful like her? Why didn't God make me like her?" I found something out...in this world, we strive for beauty. And that's all the world wants. Beauty and perfection, but really it's just computer airbrushing and fake photo's. So when you look in a magazine, you see this model with a perfect face. But God didn't make her that way. The computer did. We all have imperfections because we sin. We aren't perfect, and never will be until we get to Heaven. But the things that teenagers have to deal with is so stupid, and really rough. If you don't have the perfect clothes or the perfect phone, if your wearing or doing something that isn't in your gonna get criticized. Sorry I'm being really religious on this post (There's nothing wrong with God talk...) I've just got allot on my mind. Do any of you feel like you have this voice in your head that's good, and one that's bad? Well I have that...I think everyone does, some people just don't pay attention to the voice. I think my conscious is the Holy Spirit, and the bad voice in my head is the devil. (BTW My consciouses name is Meli...my bad one is Edward.) I think that the good voice in my head is my way of talking to God. Do you think that's what it is? I hope it is...because I've been feeling so disconnected from Him. It's like He's not even listening to me. I'm not getting any feedback. Do you think there's a time in your life when God ignores you to see if your loyal to Him? It says nothing about that in the Bible. So I don't think He would ignore us at all. He loves us...I remember when I was about 10, I had this crazy idea that maybe God made me by mistake. I was so upset, (Mostly because I just started have my first period's and that is a BAD time to mess with me) and I felt so alone. I remember I didn't have that many friends too...I also used to be fat. But then I took a certain type of medicine and lost WAY TOO MUCH weight. I was almost underweight. but I've gained a few pounds back (Yaaay, and I'm still skinny! I never wanna go in the fat lane again!) But I still am very self-conscious. But most girls are theses days. They wonder if they are pretty enough, or if there's something that could make them prettier. (That's why makeup is flying of the shelves at Wal-Mart) I'm still going through the makeup stage...hey and what do you all think of Obama? I think he's OK...the only thing I don't like about him is that he thinks abortion is OK...have I already mentioned that? Well..it's late...Goodnight...

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Do therapists really help? Or do they just remind you of your problems?

2009-01-19T16:08:00.000-08:00

Will I ever stop using this picture? Tell me if it bores you. ^_^
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Have you ever thought about that? Do therapists really help? None of you probably know this, but I'm adopted. And my birth mom's therapist wasn't a big help. She made me angry. And I think I hurt my mom. But anyways, this question bothered me yesterday. I have a therapist and he's OK, but I still don't feel entirely comfortable around him. Maybe that's something I have to grow into. And you know how I talked about eyeliner in my last post? (Or the post before that, I don't know...) Well I put ALLOT on, and I've been going to youth group like that for the last few weeks. And people sorda avoided me. But then I went to youth group one day with only brown eyeshadow on and a small line of eyeliner, and people were lot nicer to me. I even made a few more friends! One of them is named Brock, and he kept of offering to sit next to me. It was really sweet of him, so when he had to leave for a guy-only sleepover, I gave him a big hug!! (LOL I just had too) he looked really surprised and sorda (awkwardly) hugged me back and sorda laughed. HHAHAHAHA. Why am I telling you all of this? And my mom always reads my blog posts so when she's done reading this (Hi Mom!) she's gonna be all like "O my Gosh Ethie, your waaaaaaaaay too young for boys, don't go up hugging people like that!! AHHHHHHH!!!" Hmm....theres not really much to say...Well I went to this cool video game store, and they have MILLIONS of games and CD'S. but most of the CD'S were country, and I don't really like country. Well, exept for Taylor Swift. I don't really like Billy Ray Cyrus. The sound of his voice isn't appealing to me that much, I don't know why. I also like FM Static, (The BEST band ever!!) and Reliant K...but you can read all about that on my profile. Geez I'm probably boring you guys to death. Hey comment me if you like cheese!! O my gosh do any of you like Taco Bell? They are sooo yummy. But one time I got a bean burrito and I said NO ONIONS but they put them in there anyway and it was so gross. My stomach was churning, seriously. LOL My brother's watching Spongebob right now while I'm writing my posts. I still like Spongbob, it doesn't matter how old you are, Spongebob is for everyone! Well...I better close up for now..This is probably one of my not-better-posts....it's more boring so sorry...well bye!

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Don't strive to be what your not. Strivers only end up being a fake that no one looks up to.

2009-01-17T18:41:00.000-08:00

I know I used the same picture again, I just like this pic. ;) _Handprint_
ARRRGGGG!!!!!!! *$#!*&%#@&^!!!!!! I'm sorry. I'm so ANGRY!!! My Internet shut down right when I was in the middle of my extremely long blog post so I'm pretty ****** of right now. OK.....Ugh stupid computer why did you fail me!!?? *Jabs computer with fork* Geez now I have to remember all that I was saying. Ummm....Well I was thinking about Majora's Mask...it's this new game that I got and I love it to death. And I'm not a video game type person. Like I can't even get through the simplest of games like Mario. And I'm TERRIBLE at following instructions, so the video game guides don't do a whole lot for me. Ok the full title of this game is: The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask...it's a really fun game, the only part I don't like about it is that they time you cuse you only have 3 days (video game time) to get all of the masks and songs and defeat all of the monsters and so forth. And I hate it when things or people or ANYTHING times me when I'm doing something. I can be very fast, I AM fast, but just not when I don't know what to do, which happens allot. Especially when I'm video gaming. And another thing; I absolutely HATE people who call people nerds just cuse they play video games and are good at it. Just if someone plays video games day and night, 24/7, not seeing sunlight for more then a few months, that doesn't mean that their a nerd. it means they have serious problems, but their not nerds. I hate name calling. Maybe that might be mostly because I was name called throughout most of my elementary school life, I don't know. But it's just mean. (And for the record, people name called me cuse they thought I was weird.) Nerd is probably the most meanest names ever, cuse when someone calls you that, you strive to be cool and you don't act like yourself. And the more harder you try to be cool, the less popular you'll probably get, cuse everyone will think your a fake. And don't you all HATE preps? Their so annoying! They think their better then everyone else, but really, their just the same like us. It matters not what's on the outside, but the inside is what counts. Wow I sound like an old lady.
BTW: I know I used the same picture again, I just like it so much. ;)

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Hide Your Pain So The World Won't See It

2009-01-14T11:46:00.000-08:00

Hmm...I'm thinking about writing another story...but I don't know what it's gonna be about. Maybe I might switch to poetry. I have some good poems I could share...I guess their good...Hey isn't this pic good? I wish when I was crying my make up wold look that cool, you know, going down my face all blue and pretty. Hey and can someone really use too much eyeliner? I don't think you really can If your looking for the emo affect. I wear allot of eyeliner ( and I look really emo, but that's what I want to look like) and mascara, and I have this really kewl black eyeshadow (BLEH BUT I'M ALMOST OUT) Lol today I'm wearing my eyeliner, some mascara, and this blue eyeshadow...I think I look better with all black...my mom doesn't think so though (ugh) Anyway....geez i'm so bored I HAVE NOTHING TO DO!!!! Hey, and does my blog look too childish? Like, does it look my age? Just wondering, I've been thinking about that lately...Ugh anyway....I might no post for awhile cuse I've been sorda busy lately with school...hey and by the way, you guys probably don't know, but I'm home schooled. Hey, and comment me if you think my story that I wrote (See-It-Believe-It-Consequences) could be published. My mom thinks it's too dark (MOM!!!!!!!!! ARRGGGGHHH!!!!!) but if you like it could you follow it? also if you like this blog, feel free to follow it too...I like seeing people following my blog...it makes me feel good inside LOL...why did I put lol? That wasn't even funny. You know, people tend to do that. Say lol when nothings funny, and even when their not laughing out loud. We have a bad habit of doing that. I really hate the thing "TISNF" That is so not fair. It's so preppy and annoying! I like LOL better...I actually use it allot more then I should...but don't we all? Hey and are any of you fans of Katy Perry? Well her sngs are disgusting. I wouldn't guess that she's a Christian (I'm not judging!) but the lyrics in her songs are totally wack. Their really messed up...I also like Fall Out Boy, but sometimes they get a little edgy...Reliant K and FM Static are OK...they are a Christian band, and I feel really comfortable listening to them. Taylor Swift is also good...

I'm Stuck, I Feel Alone, I Feel Like Peanut Butter

2009-01-13T16:13:00.000-08:00

Isn't she so FAT!!?? I'm sorry you guys, I've been posting alot about guinea pigs lately, but nothings really been going on. I've also been so depressed lately. I had a mental breakdown in my room the other day and I almost cut myself again....I don't know what to do, it's so tempting...but then I thought about this boy named Tobi at my youth group, and I remember he kept on looking at my arms. I really like him too, and I didn't want him to know I cut, cuse I didn't want him to think that I'm creepy or anything. But anyways, whenever I think of Tobi I don't want to cut, he makes me feel so good about myself. Also I made a friend named Noah, and he's made me feel alot better. Also my bf Jared has helped me too...I've just felt so alone. Like I stay in my room for hours just thinking, I get so upset sometimes...UGH BLEH BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH BLABIDIDOODAH LABIDIDOODAH BLEH HAHAHA Ok, i'm gonna tel all of you something, but you have to promise not to judge. Ok, I made this thing called a misery page awhile ago, and I wrote tons of stuff on it, and smeared my blood on it from cutting. I know, gross, but still...well I gotta go....BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok This Is One Of My More Serious Posts. Because I Have A Serious Matter.

2009-01-05T20:35:00.000-08:00

Adorable, isn't she? I wuv her so much! OK...I have alot to tell, but I'm not posting this so you can judge me, so all you judgementals, LEAVE THE PAGE! Alright...I cut. See on the picture? Yea, those are my cuts. If you are thinking about cutting you'd better not try it. It's nothing but destruction. In the beginning, yea it might feel cool. You might feel mighty, cause o my gosh! I'm so brave doing this to myself! But...Your not brave. Your STUPID. Stupid, stupid, stupid! It causes nothing but fear, despair, and pain. Also for the others around you. Dude, cutting is WAY not cool, no matter what anyone says. If someone told you that jumping off building was the new in, would you do it? If you were mental, yea you might. But you aren't mental. So slap yourself, tell someone about your problem, and STOP. I'm serious. I'm watching you. And I'm not the only one. God is too.

2009-01-03T07:48:00.000-08:00

Ummmm ooook....a fishy can't die from thirst!!! HAHAHAHAHA if you didn't know that, your future is filled with sadness and despair...no I'm joking...your just dumb. :P FOLLOW ME TO LALA LAND!! Da duuduu doo du Da duuduu doo du OH ya are you following me? LOL me and my brother made that up. Sean says hi!!!! HAHAHAHAH we would take the guinea pig and make her do a victory dance cuse she's goin to LaLa land!! EVERYONE FOLLOW ME TO LALA LAND!!! Nah you don't have to have to. YES YOU DO!!! Jared follow us to Lala land!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Ok ok...ummmm.....I lost my train of thought....CHOOOO CHOOOO hahahahahaha my brothers reading this as I type it and he thinks I'm funny....DO YOOOOOU THINK IM FUUUUNY!!?? If you said no...I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP I WILL COME AND GET YOU AND PLACE A BOMB NEXT TO YOUR HEAD SO IN THE MORNING YOUR HEAD WILL EXPLODE!!!!! Ooooooya.....That's what Santa Clause does when he says he's watchen you...making bombs so he can blow you up. OOOOOOOO YAAAAAAAAAAA I LIKE CHEEEEESE!!!!!!!! AND BURRITO'S!!!!! Heh heh heh....the stalking burrito will come and get you....GET EM BOYS!!!!! *my gummy bear army comes after you...*
ABCDEFG THE GUMMY BEARS ARE AFTER ME ONE IS RED ONE IS BLUE THE YELLOW ONE JUST STOLE ME SHOE!! WHEN I CATCH HIM I WILL SUE THEN I WILL GET BACK TO YOU!!! YOU'D BETTER NOT COPY THAT COPIERS!!! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALLLLLLLL!!!!!

Don't Read This Unless You Are Mature...And If You Don't Laugh When It Comes To Religion

2009-01-01T15:45:00.001-08:00

Why do we ((sleep)) in [[church]], But stay ((awake) through a [[3 hour movie]]? Why is it so ((hard)) to talk about [[God]], but so ((easy)) to talk about [[sex]]? Why are we so ((bored)) when we look at a [[Christian magazine]], but find it ((easy)) to read [[Playboy]]? Why is it so easy to ((ignore)) a [[Godly]] myspace bulletin, Yet we ((repost)) the [[nasty]] ones? Why are ((churches)) getting [[smaller]], But ((bars and clubs)) are [[expanding]]? Why is it so easy to purchase {beer} and {drugs}? But so hard to donate 25 cents for a {Charity}? Why is it so easy to worship a {Celebrity}? But very difficult to engage with {God}? Think about it, are you going to repost this? Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at? Repost this as "Dont read if ur immature ....seriously." 80 % of you wont repost this. The Lord said: If you deny Me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of My Father . So post this. DO IT!!!

The Chicken Crossed The Road Cuse He Saw A Piece Of Cheese Puff You DUMDUMS!!!

2008-12-30T09:02:00.000-08:00

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey guys!! I feel like im back to my hyper old self...things are going better, and I don't feel so alone...well I still feel a little alone...it sucks that the only company I have is my family, and that's not really the kind of company that I want to have-most kids at this age don't-but anyway...I wanna be around my friends not my family...*siiiiiiiiiiiigh* atleast I have my guinea pigs........BLEH IM BORED!!!!!! OK OK WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD!!?? hahahahah cuse he saw a piece of cheese puff on the other side and he tried to get across to get it but it got run over but a semi truck and the truck driver got out and was all like, "o my gosh I killed a chicken!!! Hmmm.....i'm hungry..." and then he ate it...oh ya...that's the real story...they just remixed it so it would be more appropriate for the little kids...haha...are you laughing? haha....Santa Clause knows where you sleep and he will climb through your window next Christmas and place a bomb next to your head so in the morning your head will explode...yes...Santa is a baaaad man....he knows where you sleep....scaaaaary.....don't ever sit on Santa's lap...ewwwww....he's a scaaaaary man.....scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaary.......

sO aLoNe...ThAtS hOw I fEeL...aNd I aLsO hAvE a StRaNgE cRaViNg 4 PeAnUt bUtTeR bAlLs

2008-12-29T17:32:00.000-08:00

That's definetly me. Lol I luv these little emo voodoo cuties...have you ever looked at the world and realized how much it sucks? It seriously does...theres not that all good about it...I mean God did a great job but man hasn't done it any good as far as i can tell...it revolves around young people and older people suddenly aren't in...I mean what's up with that? We should all be accepted right? Like if someone was cutting themsleves, they should be comforted for whatevers bothering them, and not yelled at...can't they see? ugh but no one f'n see's cuse their just stupid...honestly i'm past the line, sometimes I just wish I was dead...But other times I'm ok...like when I make new friends that just make me happy around them...I met someone named Spencer and all the pain on the inside went away...it was wierd but I liked it...also Jared helped alot...I don't have many friends thanks to homeschooling and he's really stuck by me (and 4 so long!!!) lol we met on a virtual pets site and he thought I was a guy, that was funny...but anyway...lol sorry for babbling like that i've just got alot on my mind...geez im so depressed, I fell like im gonna explode, like I could just burst any second....i've JOINED THE DARK SIDE!!!! And I met Darth Vador....humor always helps ^_^ so you'd better laugh b4 I come after u...hey Spencer if ur reading this!! U 2 Jared!

SOOOOOO.......BORED!!!!!! Pooh Bear Wears Barbie Underwear....HAHAHAHA YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT DID YOU??

2008-12-28T15:54:00.000-08:00

This is the front cover 4 my story See-It-Belive-It Consiquences...ISNT IT TOTALLY WICKED!!!!???? And yes, when I was writing this story, my eyes were dripping out of my sockets. (JK Idiot) Anywayz, the HTML Thing, or adress WHATEVER you call it is SeeItSeeMe.Blogspot.com...
I already have like three followers. Omg comment me if you like AllStar sneakers!!! Heeeeey and my grandma came over to give us Christmas presents and I got a freakin Kimono!! That's so cool I feel so cultural! And I got 50 dollars...I'm gonna buy 30 pounds of mulch and spread it out on my carpet so my guinea pigs can run around ALL over my floor!
(JK again Idiot, wow you sure are distracted 2day...HI JARED IF YOUR READING THIS!!!! Diddo on Spencer if ur reading this 2!!!! Also to Darriin...ok back to my post!!!) Anywayz...I don't know what else to write...GEEZ IM SO BORED!!!! Ummmmmmmmmmmmm yeeeeaaaaaa I.............
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
I like laughing its SO fun!!!!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeey and you know what I like best about gummy bears? U can bite their heads off, and rip them to shreds, but they never fight back...oh ya....thats me alright....
TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!!!!! *Throws more skittles at yooooooooou*

OOOOOOHHHH yea....this is Criss and Cross in V-A-M-P-I-R-E Spells...Love? OH YA BABY!! TASTE THE RIANBOW!!!

2008-12-27T09:58:00.000-08:00

Ya, just in case your wondering, this is sorda what Criss and Cross look like in my vampire story. I'll put Meli's picture on here later. Soooooo....DONT THEY LOOK COOL!!?? Criss is supposed to have black hair with red streaks, and Cross is supposed to have normal black hair, but I liked this one. HAHAHAHAHA im gonna publish my Vampire story someday, and also my Querida story soooo....YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! Gosh that would be so funny is he accidentally shot her with that gun hes holding. its like, "Heeeeey girl wazzup-OMG I SHOT YOU OMG ARE YOU OK, BREATH BREATH!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" hahahahaha.....oh ya....but dont worry thats not gonna happen in my story...OR IS IT!? Im also thinking about posting my Naruto story on here. It's called: Gaara's Goin to Hawaii!!! HAHAHAHA you have to read the first Naruto story I wrote though...but still its funny. I published it on Quizilla.com, and everyone loved it lol. Omg the first Naruto story I wrote is 41 pages long!!! TYPED!!!!! It took me almost a whole year. hahaha you can imagine me sitting in front of the compuer all gross, my eyes dripping out of my sockets..."MUST.....FINISH....STORY....." yeeaaa i wasnt like that but I did get alot of headaches and writers block....UGH IM BORED GOODBYE!!!!! TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!! *throws skittles at you!!!*

STOP EATING PIGGIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-26T17:20:00.001-08:00

These guinea pigs are all being round up to be cooked, and eaten!!! DO THEY LOOK DELICIOUS!!?? IF YOU THOUGH YES IM GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN AND GET YOU!!!!!!! Gosh thats so MEAN!! Look at them, all curious and cute, why would someone do that!? They eat them alot in Peru...and they KOBOB THEM TOO!!!! You know in Japan, people eat cow eyes? Thats just really revolting. They also eat that wierd lining in your throut that you can tear if you have that eating disorder...it starts with a B...but anywayz...thats so mean...I like that black one that looks brown, I WANNA KEEP ALL OF THEM!!!! I would put them in my bed at night, and we could all stay together like a big happy wierdo family...DO THEY LOOK DELICIOUS!!??? HA!!! YOU THOUGHT YES!!!! IM GONNA GET YOU!!!!! Omg tell someone not to think of bunnies for 10 seconds. Its so hard, cuse they told you not too and then your mind wants to do it. Also try licking ur nose. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no you don't have to do that. Ummmmm yea anywayz HEY JARED IF UR READING THIS!!!!!! Ummmmmmmmmmm ok well im gonna go.............................................................CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROMEO WEARS EMO POOH BEAR UNDIES...hahaha that has nothing to do with this post

2008-12-25T18:36:00.000-08:00

(Click on it so you can see it better...CLICK ON IT!!!!!!!!!!) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is a comic strip from Death Note...(AWSOME SHOW!!!) Omg on my About Me thing, you know how I said I love Matt? Ya, he's from Death Note...AND HE DIEED!!! When it happened I was like, "WHY THE @#*! DID THEY KILL MATT!!??"Omg, it was sad...He got pulled over and the police officers all shot him. Poor Matt. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY

Guess what!? I met a guy named Spencer (i think thats him name it better be) and he's cool. HES SO TALL!!!!!! Gosh he was like, Idk, 6, 7 feet, somethin like that. He was cool. Yep. He was. Oh ya you can bet on it. He's in college. And I threw him out the window. JOKING!!!!!! Sorry, just had to make sure your still with me...anywayz...ya I got chopsticks for Christmas!!! From now on, the only thing im gonna eat with is chopsticks!!!! OH YA BABY, THEN ILL BE READY TO GO TO JAPAN WITH JARED!!! (Hi Jared!!) Oh, and that Spencer kid? The one I waz talking about? He's in a band...I really wanna go see it...anywayz, ummmm.....COMMENT ME!!!! Tell me what you got for Christmas or something I DONT CARE just comment me!!! Jeez you guys are boring me our BIG TIME!!!!! hahahaha my guinea pig fell asleep on me today...SO PRECIOUS........................................ugh Im bored goodbye!!!!!!!

OH ROMEOOOOOOOOOOO MAKE ME GRILLED CHEESE!!!!!!!

2008-12-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

She looks pregnant in that dress. Gosh, im sorry but she does, and I wanted to write that before I forgot. And SERIOUSLY they should choose younger people to play Romeo and Juliet. (Heeey Jarebear if your reading this! Oooops did I call you Jarebear!? I mean Roooomeo!!!) Next Halloween (YOUR NEVER TOO OLD TO DRESS UP!!!!) I'm gonna dress up as Juliet, and maybe if I ever see Jared, (HI JARED!!!) he can be Romeo LOL. I think this is a stage i'm going through, you know this Romeo and Juliet thing? I've always liked romance, but lately it's just been that's ALL im thinking about. But seriously, all girls wonder about their future husband. I want him to be a pebble-throwing, chocolate-loving, I-Will-Cuddle-You-If-Are-Ever-Upset kind of guy. Thats REALLY not tooo much to ask for, right? I think i'll maybe try to get in the entertainment buisness when I get older, I wanna be Juliet in a play. Maybe I can learn opera too, and play in The Phantom of the Opera. I can half-way do opera. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!

DON'T LITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's true, seriously DONT LITTER!!! YES I AM A TREE HUGGER!!!!! Anyway....hahahaha I bought eyeliner, I feel so coooooooooooooool. I also got black eyeshadow. Oh ya baby. Im so cool. Give me chocolate. Ummmm yea I gotta go, If you have any good pictures of Romeo and Juliet email then to me, I put my email on here, just go to my profile. YAY so GOODBYE!!!

AND TASTE THE SWEET GOODNESS OF MY COLORFUL RAINBOW!!!!

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH ROMEO!!!!!!

2008-12-23T19:35:00.000-08:00

This is the one play that I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally wanna see...I also wanna see Phantom of the Opera, but if I could choose, it would definetly be Romeo and Juliet! It's so romantic, and I love romance! I've been thinking about trying to find the book at the library, but Idk, im afarid I won't understand what their saying, they might use too many oooold words, and it will make it less romantic. LOL me and my friend Jared were trying to come up with nicknames for eachother, and I kept on telling him to call me Juliet, and I could call him Romeo, but he didn't like that idea...it is a little wierd though...people might think we're married or something. Omg when I get married, I definetly wanna call my husband Romeo, and he can call me Juliet...that would be romantic! On my wedding day I wanna go cliff diving with my husband...in out wedding outfits! That would be so cool! I want to travel the world with him. Geez I probably sound so dramalicious (haha I made up that word) but I've always dreamed about marrying someone...gosh I wouldn't blame you if you didn't read this whole thing, i'm just bored out of my mind, and im going on...and on...and on...and on...wow this is passing the time, i'll think i'll do this for awhile...and on...and on...and on...Holy burrito in Arizona feeding Ramen to the homeless but then destorying them with an ax and burying them in a cement compound! I forgot to tell you! Ummmm....WOW....ok ok give me a second...writing that whole thing made me loose my train of thought...CHOO CHOO!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TASTE THE RAINBOW YOU STUPID TRAIN!!!! Ummmm.....yeeeeeeeeeeeeea....I forgot. Maybe i'll remember it tommorow...Heeeeeey and IMusicLover!!! Are you still following my blog!? If you are you rock!! Jared if your reading this, XOXO!!! GOOD NIGHT!!! Oh now I remember what I was going to say...Im too tired though good night..........I SAID GOOD NIGHT GO AAAAAAAAWAAAAY!!!!!

gUiNeA pIgS!!!!!!

2008-12-22T19:03:00.000-08:00

THESE ARE MY PIGGIES!! Kyoko and Jessanah...aren't they adorible!? They are really wierd though cuse they purr at songs sung by Ashley Simpson, Taylor Swift, Avril ??? (Idk her last name) and Britney Spears...really wierd...I love them so much though!!?? aren't they just the cutest things ever!? Kyoko (the gray one) is an Abyssian guinea pig and that why her fur is all stickey outey everywhere. Jessanah (the white one) is an American guinea pig. But it's wierd cuse she jumps everytime someone touches her. Kyoko is seriously over wieght...she's like 3 pounds or something...and she farts alot...o my gosh when she sneezes, it's so cute!! It sounds like a sneeze from Alvin and the Chipmunks, its so cute!! Once she sneezed in my mouth and it tasted like hay and carrots...it was really gross...ew...They went in the shower once too. I used baby shampoo on them. Idk, it says its tear free, but once I got alot in my eyes and it stung. Maybe cuse I had dribbled nearly a half a cup into my eyeballs. I don't know. Hey, and how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 867!! I tried it!! My tounge hurts!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!!!!!! *Throws skittles at you*
If you read this whole thing, comment me. COMMENT ME JARED!!

2008-12-19T11:41:00.000-08:00

Hey wazzup guys, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yea this Christmas i've been writing my stories like crazy, so I have like two more new stories (or the beguinning of them) that I would like to share. Sooooo watchu guyz think? Do you want me to post the beguinning of this new story i'm writing? It's called Querida and im workin hard on it. It's about this boy and this girl and this girls horse, and the girl know this other girl and this other girl knows this other guy and this guy has a rabbit and the rabbit knows a flea and the flea know this bug terminater and this bug terminater knows this other girl who knows that other guy. Did you catch all that? Yeeeea I didn't think so. So comment me kk? Also the otha story im writing....well nvm it's just more of my Death Note story, and my Vampire story...do you guys like my stories??? Omg and I told you bout my guinea pigs, right? They are so cute!!! Ones a Abyssian and the other ones and American...the Abyssian one is wierd her hair sticks up everywere and she so fat!! When she sits in a little ball she looks like a fat chinchilla with no tail!! Ummmmmmm yeah, so anywayz.....keep readin my blog.....cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesey chicken potatoes................ummm oook BYE!!!!
P.S. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. S.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM WRITING IN BLUE NOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!
P.S.S.S. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOW IM WRITING IN PURPLE!!!!!! YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S.S.S.S. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW IM WRITING IN THIS REEEEEEEEEEEALLLY LIGHT BLUE COLOR!!!!!!!!!!!! IM INVINCIBLE!!!!!

2008-12-18T12:48:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!!
Twas the night b4 Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...well my guinea pigs were being really noisy...I need to change their water bottle...seriously though...they drink loudly!!!
Ummm anywayz...well...I really don't know the rest of the poem...but I think in the end santa comes...doesn't he get full? Seriously, that's ALOT of cookies to eat in one night!!! And what if someone poisened the cookies!?
What if santa is allergic to peanut butter cookies or something? Then what would he do? If he doesn't like your cookies he'll probably just feed them to his reindeer...I wonder if they take baths...
I could make a poem out of that...about reindeers taking baths...I wonder if they use baby shampoo...that would be good if they did, cuse what if shampoo got in their eyes, and they couldn't see where their going the whole ride?
Also another thing I wanna know, is when did santa meet his wife? Maybe like in high school or something...she has lots of wrinkles...she needs some lotion...I have some...it smells like flowers...
Does santa know karate!? What if the grinch comes and trys to blow santa up!!?? He has to know some wicked moves to get the grinch...
Ummmm....weeeell this was wierd...just my personnel thoughts and questions about santa.......COOKIEEEES!!!!

SURVEY SURVEY SURVEY!!!!!!!!

2008-11-29T16:56:00.001-08:00

another random.

can you name all 50 states?: YES
what is your favorite soup?: CHIKEN NOODLIE SOUP!!!
do you eat pizza cold?: YES
what color is your keyboard?: BLACK
are you eating/drinking anything right now?: NO
have you ever solved a rubixcube?: NO ITS HARD!!!!
have you ever watched the show i hate my 30's?: NO
do you drink bottled water?: NO
do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: NO
how old were you when you had your first kiss?: I HAVENT HAD ONE YET!!!!
where did it take place?: I SAID I HAVENT HAD ONE YET!!!!
who was it with?: ARRRRGGG!!!!! I HAVENT HAD ONE YET!!!
what is your favorite genre of music?: POP TECHNO
are you a vegetarian?: NO
do you get headaches often?: NO
do you like celery?: NO
what is your favorite movie?: TWILIGHT
do you have an ipod?: NO
What do you normally order at mcdonalds?: NUGGETS
Do you find vampires sexy?: YES!!!!!
Do you sneeze loud?: NO
Would you rather draw or paint?: PAINT
Digital or Disposable camera?: DIGITAL
Whats your favorite game system?: NINTINDO 64
Do you like candy canes?: YES
Do you use a new towel everytime you shower?: YES
Do you work out daily?: NO
Have you ever had surgery?: YES

Fill out this survey yourself
Find a different survey
Brought to you by Bzoink

Wanna read my story?

2008-11-27T17:53:00.000-08:00

Then go to my other blog. Go to my profile and click on my blog called 'I ♥ Writing' and enjoy!
P.S. It's really long....

rEaDy 4 tHe NeXt BoOk!

2008-11-26T11:49:00.000-08:00

Goodness im so exited! I'm going through the Twilight series so easily! Im already on the third book and it's only been 2 or 3 days!! It's so good, I just never want to stop reading. It's funny, I find myself mutitasking, cuse i'm reading the book while doing other things as well. Have any of you ever read a book while listening to your favorite song, while trying to watch Animal Planet, while trying to organize your room, while talking on the phone? Weeeeell it's REALLY hard!! (Seriously, try it...) Allllso, my friend Aly told me they've already made the second Twilight movie, which is REALLY fast...I don't know if I can belive that though, the first one just came out...if you have any news on that, comment me plz...btw i'd like to thank iMusicLover cuse she's following my blog, and reading every single post...which touches me really....IM CRYING OH NO IM CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............ummmm sorry.........anywayz....me and my family are trying to clean our house up for Thanksgiving...I can't wait until our family comes over. ALLLLLLLLSOOOO (wow I think I say that alot...) did any of you hear that Cancer in declining in the USA? That rocks!! I've been kinda worrying about getting cancer lately, and I know that's stupid, but I often worry about stupid things...but hearing that made me feel alot better. Hey, and also I'm thinking about posting my first chapter of my vampire story on here, i've worked hard on it, and I think all of you might like it...well...i better go, I need to finish Eclipse in the Twilight series...also im hungry...........................CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!

tWiLiGht

2008-11-25T12:12:00.000-08:00

Heeeeeeeey guyz...last Saturday, me and my friend Aly went to go see Twilight together...itsa REALLY good movie! Don't worry, I won't give anything away. It was SO good! It was a beautiful romance story, it was funny, and action packed...I really liked James, and I also liked Jacob. Edward was awsome too. It was funny, cuse right when the movie started, me and Aly suddenly remembered popcorn, and we had to run out and get it real quick. The popcorn guy took FOREVER!! He did like 2 or 3 things B4 getting our popcorn. Me and Aly were jumping up and down, TRYING to give him a clue we were missing the movie we paid 7 bucks for. Then when we got in, we watched about half the movie, then we got thirsty. We RAN as fast as we could, (and everyone was straing at us) and we got drinks. YES we were still bouncing, and the drink lady was looking at us weirdly, but I think she understood we were missing our movie, so she did it quickly. When we got back in the movie theature, Edward and Bella were making out (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!) and I started giggling, and then people strated staring at me, it waz kinda freaky..............anywayz...........I just thought i'd share that with you..........btw sorry I didn't post this weekend, I was grounded from the computer.........seeee ya!!!!!

mY cHrIsTmAs ClOtHiNg WiSh LiSt

2008-11-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

I cAnT wAiT 4 ChRiStMaS!!!

These are the types of clothing I want for Christmas...I luv black, it's 1 of my fav colors...I also want a black Crucifix necklace, and black earrings to match...I want black eyeliner, black nail polish, and all that good stuff that my mom will probably never buy me! And have any of you ever realized that there are TONS of goth people in UK? (United Kingdom) Most of the Fall Out Boys are punk/emo/goth, and their from UK (I think...) But serously, LOTS are goth...I got these pictures at a UK website, and even if I wanted to buy them (AND I REEEEALLY DO!!) You have to pay with UK currency......that stinks big time, considering they know wat fashin is...also have you seen the clothing lines in Paris!? They are sooo wierd!! I watched a Paris runway show on TV last night, and I didn't see why everyone ENJOYED it! The clothes were terrible!! Honestly, who would wear that kind of stuff in public? But I did watch this other show on Paris, and thankfully no one dressed in those wierd clothes, they just wore regular clothes...but they added ALOT of accessories, and it looked really good...I wanna go to Paris sometime...I'm trying to teach myself French, and also a little bit of Japanese...my friend Jared is helping me with that.......HI JARED IF YOUR READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

IcE SkAtInG!!

2008-11-20T15:22:00.000-08:00

This was in 2005 when I was practicing for the ice show...i'm the one behind the girl with the purple jacket; I have a blue shirt on. Our outfit for the show was a green sparkly dress, it was REALLY itchy!!!! It had a velcro strap at the neck, and it gave me a velcro burn. B4 the ice show, I had to get my ice skates sharpened, and when I went to public skate, I tripped on my ice pic, and I fell and scrached up my hip real bad; it mostly healed B4 the show though...alllsooo for all you people that think you can do ANYTHING, ice skating is NOT as easy as it looks. You get used to it when you practice, but it's still really hard. I've been skating for 7 years now, and i'm still not all that great (mostly cuse I don't practice as much as I used to) but anywayz, it's really fun...just keep your balence and don't die...oh, and I remember once I went to public skate, and this guy who had never skated B4 accidentally tripped this one guy, and he fell too, making his face ram into the guys blade. His face was so bloody, and the guy was crying. He looked 40 or something like that...it was kinda sad, it looked really painful...but i'm not trying to scare you into not ice skating...it's REALLY fun!! SO GO ICE SKATE!!!

ALLLMOST CHRISTMAS!!!

2008-11-19T14:34:00.000-08:00

ITS ALMOST CHRITSMAS TIME!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
This is our Christmas tree from last year!!! My gold fish is so old, that if it die's in December, I might make an ordament out of him!! (Poor guy...and poor tree, it'll stink reeeeal baaaad...) O my gosh I remember when Charlie and Binkie were still alive...I brought them downstaries once when my grandma waz babysitting me and my bro and sis, and we brought them down...Binkie tried 2 climb up the Christmas tree, and acidentally pulled an ordament down, and it freaked him out. He started running everywere and it took us awhile to catch him. (He was super fast when he wanted to be!!!) Binkie: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME LOOOOOOOOOSSSSEEERRRSSS!!!!!! THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT CLEANING MY CAGE!!!............then Charlie threw a fit, and Binkie bit Charlie...
Binkie: CHARLIE YOU TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!!!
...............................................................mmmmmmkkkk.......CYA!!!

♥Binkie & Charlie♥

2008-11-18T17:45:00.000-08:00

This is Binkie and Charlie, my two beutiful guinea pigs. I love them so much!! (Or loved...they just HAD to die...) They are so cute! Charlie was ultra-sensitive to almost everything around him, and he was super-soft. Binkie was my tough little guy, and he loved to snuggle with me. Sometimez I called him Inkie-Boy for short...I don't know why the name waz just cute. They died the same way, from seizures, they were brothers. Petco is NOT a good place to buy guinea pigs!! They DIE on you!! Gosh I was so upset when they died, but it's ok now...I have my puppy, Sam. (Weeeeeell she's not a puppy anymore, but I call her a puppy anyway...) I LOVE YOU BINKIE AND CHARLIE!! R.I.P.........

A GIRL OR GUY!?

2008-11-18T11:37:00.000-08:00

Does he look like a girl!? I went to Bible study last night, and accidentally brought my Death Note manga with me. The teachers started passing the book around asking eachother if it was a boy or girl. One of my teachers said, "Well, what a pretty haircut this girl's got..." I nearly fell over in laughter. It's a guy, woman!! Does he look like a girl!? Seriously does he? I think he looks alot like a guy! HIS CHEST IS FLAT, HE'S NOT A GIRL!!! But we DO need to do something about that hair of his...maaaaybe dye it black, and make it all messy, and cover his eyes. He would look hott like that. I like his outfit though...wierd...I LOVE CHOCOLATE TOO MELLO!!!!!
If he was real, i'd take away his chocolate and eat it ALL!!!!

O..My..GOODNESS!!!!

2008-11-18T10:56:00.000-08:00

Heeeeey guys...2day I passed out in my room. I was reading a book on my bed, and I got up, then black was all around me, and I felt so dizzy and lightheaded. Then I like fell to my knee's and I thought I saw little white stars (I waz hallucinating) I sorda blacked out for a minuite and when I got up, I had fallen a bit off my knee's...gosh it was scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaary.........this happed once when I got my flu shot, it was terrible, I think this time it was even worse.
Heeeeeeeeey and did I mention i'm writing a stroy? It's called V-A-M-P-I-R-E Spells...Love? Hahahahahah I know it's a wierd title, but it's also kinda catchy. Alllllllllsoooo did I mention i've been writing to one of my favorite authors? (Is their a name for female authors? Like authoresses or something like that? I've always wondered that...) Her name is Gail Giles, and she wrote the book called Right Behind You. She's really nice and funny, you otta read that book peoples, itsa great book. READ IT!!!! Well that's all I can think of at the moment...this is so cool, it's like my own online diary, and all you peoples can read it. TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MY BLOG PLZ!!!! Thnx, catch ya l8er.

Watz Up!!??

2008-11-17T18:29:00.000-08:00

Heya peeps, this is my first blog, so go easy on me if it stinks...my name's Ethica, (Well that's my pen name)....I like anime, penguins, Twilight, chocolate, and all that good stuff...I have some really good friends, Aly, Zac, Meli, and Jared, and their all really loyal peoples, so loyal I might mention their names more than once, so if you don't like their names then change them, just don't make fun of them!!
Ummm.....weeeeeeeeeeeell I don't have much more to write, i'll probably have more tommorow, SO VISIT AGAIN!!!!!!! OR ILL GET YOU, I WILLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
............sorry..............too much chocolate................

I'm 99.9% Sure He Doesn't Like Me. But Its The .1% That Keeps Me Going.

Hey

Can you guys help me?

♥ My life is so boring and I'm ugly and weird but God loves me! ♥

I Got Stiches!! I couldn't get a pic of it on here though...

I Feel Like A Voo-Doo Doll...

Really long post but because I haven't posted in awhile :D

"Wet Pants" The Cutest Little Story Ever...

The Donut Man Will Come And Get All Of You Pie Lovers

♥!!!~♥•My 50th Post!!!!!!•♥~!!!♥

Gravestones, Oreo's, Pouring Rain, And The Flu

Some wierd things I've done and YAY A happy post!

Annoyed, Angry, Depressed, AND ITS SO HARD TO TYPE RIGHT NOW!!! STUPID COMPUTER!! *Throws computer out window*

SO HYPER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *TWITCH* HAHAHAHAHAHA

I Feel So Annoyed And Angry And I Don't Know Why

♥Some Love Poems And Sayings 4 Valentines Day!!♥

................ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............

Feeling better, but my depression is still bugging me..but I did lots of fun things!! READ!!

I'm feeling better, but I still want to rip somebody's head off :P

I'm angry and depressed I really want to push someone over a cliff and I want chocolate!!

I'm falling right in that black depressing hole again...it's like yesterday didn't happen

I'm feeling so happy, and also full cause I drank 3 cans of root beer!!

Did cutting really help me? Or was it just a way of venting?.......I like pie....

I'm trying to turn my depression into joy..but it's hard...especially when your love sick

This is an email I sent to some of my friends...I decided to make it a post..

The more you look in the mirror, the more your going to be asking yourself, "Why can't I be more beautiful?"

Do therapists really help? Or do they just remind you of your problems?

Don't strive to be what your not. Strivers only end up being a fake that no one looks up to.

Hide Your Pain So The World Won't See It

I'm Stuck, I Feel Alone, I Feel Like Peanut Butter

Ok This Is One Of My More Serious Posts. Because I Have A Serious Matter.

Don't Read This Unless You Are Mature...And If You Don't Laugh When It Comes To Religion

The Chicken Crossed The Road Cuse He Saw A Piece Of Cheese Puff You DUMDUMS!!!

sO aLoNe...ThAtS hOw I fEeL...aNd I aLsO hAvE a StRaNgE cRaViNg 4 PeAnUt bUtTeR bAlLs

SOOOOOO.......BORED!!!!!! Pooh Bear Wears Barbie Underwear....HAHAHAHA YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT DID YOU??

OOOOOOHHHH yea....this is Criss and Cross in V-A-M-P-I-R-E Spells...Love? OH YA BABY!! TASTE THE RIANBOW!!!

STOP EATING PIGGIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROMEO WEARS EMO POOH BEAR UNDIES...hahaha that has nothing to do with this post

OH ROMEOOOOOOOOOOO MAKE ME GRILLED CHEESE!!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH ROMEO!!!!!!

gUiNeA pIgS!!!!!!

SURVEY SURVEY SURVEY!!!!!!!!

Wanna read my story?

rEaDy 4 tHe NeXt BoOk!

tWiLiGht

mY cHrIsTmAs ClOtHiNg WiSh LiSt

IcE SkAtInG!!

ALLLMOST CHRISTMAS!!!

♥Binkie & Charlie♥

A GIRL OR GUY!?

O..My..GOODNESS!!!!

Watz Up!!??

Annoyed, Angry, Depressed, AND ITS SO HARD TO TYPE RIGHT NOW!!! STUPID COMPUTER!! Throws computer out window

SO HYPER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TWITCH HAHAHAHAHAHA