Friday, January 23, 2009

This is an email I sent to some of my friends...I decided to make it a post..

Sorry. But I think this message is going to be long. But I seriously need to vent. I feel like I wanna hurt myself, and I don't even know why. Do you ever feel like no one is there, and your all alone and no one can help you? Well that's how I feel right now. I'm going insane! Like usually, I NEVER capitalize things when I'm writing emails, but here I am, writing with perfect punctuation and capitalization. Ugh, I have no friends. Well, I have a few, but only a few guys. That's because I'm home schooled, and I don't think I wanna go out of homeschooling, but I don't know. High school sounds so scary, ya know? And also, I keep on worrying about my birth mom. I'm adopted, and my birth mom is out there somewhere, and I'm so worried about her. Do you think she believes in God? I hope she does, cause I don't want her to go to hell! That's one of my worst fears. I'm also scared of dying alone. With no husband or family, I don't want to be alone, because death is scary for me even though I know I'm going to Heaven because I believe in God. Also, I go to youth group every Sunday night, and I really like this guy but I don't think he likes me. He brought this cheerleader with him last Sunday, I don't know if he did it to make me jealous or what, but it worked, because I am a jealous wreck. I think I'm just going to ignore him though and see if he starts liking me then. He probably won't. Do you think I should make this a blog post? Maybe I should, because I don't know what else to write for a blog post. Nothings been happening here where I live. Indiana is a boring state. I want to move to Japan. I guess this email won't only be for venting, but also so that you can get to know me more, because I think you want to be my friend, right? Wow, my hands hurt from all of this typing, but I have to keep typing so I don't loose it. You know how I have guinea pigs? Well whenever I touch one of them on the legs she bites me. Is that normal? I don't know if that is. I want to take her to the vet, but economy has been bad in the USA for awhile. I hope Obama can fix that. But why don't we just print more money? That would make things allot easier, ya know? Jeez, people are gonna think that this isn't an email because it's so put together. I can't believe it''s this put together! This is my longest email I've EVER written. This venting is helping by the way, I love you so much if you've read through this whole thing.
Gosh my hands are hurting so bad. I think I'm gonna have to stop. I think I might send this to some of my other friends too...well, bye!
I know it's weird I made that a post, but I guess it's OK as well...Hey and guys, can you tell me something? Is this website slow on your computer? If it is, tell me so I can fix it up, cause I don't want it to be slow. And just to let you guys know, I have severe anxiety, so I worry about things like that. It gets kinda annoying at times. I also have depression issues and sleep issues. And some other issues as well, but I won't go into those. Sorry I'm making this post even longer by rambling, but I've been so stressed out lately. Sorry for wasting your time if you found this blog post revolting, but if you liked it, I LOVE YOU!!!! Goodnight...God loves you!



Blogger Emj13 said...

Hey, I emailed you. I'm praying for you right now, and I hope you're feeling better.(:


January 23, 2009 at 10:35 PM  
Blogger Jillian said...

Me too!
I emailed you!
Read it soon, okay?
Praying 4 you know too.
Sorry it took so long to respond, long day, I fell asleep at 9:30. I don't remember the last time I went to bed that early.
Well, Luv ya.

January 24, 2009 at 1:27 AM  
Blogger Romans 12:2 said...

Hey, thanks alot for following my blog. I'm also homeschooled. So your guinea pig bites you? I used to have one and I think it bite me once cause it was afraid. I later accidentally droped him down the stairs, so I guess he had reason to fear me :) Your website loads normal on my computer, so fear not. And I'll pray for you. - Bob

January 24, 2009 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger Twilight Girl :) said...

yes, i guess you could say I was Christian but i'm not really big into the religious thing.
I had a look at your other blog by the way and I think its pretty cool.
Your guinea pigs are gorgeous by the way. I have rats!


January 24, 2009 at 2:47 PM  
Blogger Jillian said...

Hey, I removed your last comment, not bc I was ticked or anything. My Dad just reads my blog, and he would have to much fun with that, LOL. Next time just mail me, 'kay?
But thanks, that is a huge complement. U r very pretty too!
I would tell him, but I've already told him I hate him, so I'm not sure it'd do much good. It's a long story. Sigh.
Ttyl, btw, I emailed u!

January 24, 2009 at 5:37 PM  
Blogger Twilight Girl :) said...

thanks, glad you like my rats. What kind are your guinea pigs,the greyish one looks real fluffy!
I'll follow your blog but you should know I am not very religious and I like bright colours :)
Your blog loads up fine on my computer by the way.

January 24, 2009 at 5:50 PM  
Blogger Tunafish said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 11, 2009 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Tunafish said...

lol, not too bad :) Your blog loads pretty well on my comp but you're not worried about that anymore right? heh I guess just write what you feel like and just be yourself. I often trace over the veins on my left arm, not because I feel like cutting but because I'm bored :P I haven't tried it when I'm angry or depressed yet but it might work. *shrug* GOD loves you!

April 11, 2009 at 10:31 AM  

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