I'm Stuck, I Feel Alone, I Feel Like Peanut Butter

Isn't she so FAT!!?? I'm sorry you guys, I've been posting alot about guinea pigs lately, but nothings really been going on. I've also been so depressed lately. I had a mental breakdown in my room the other day and I almost cut myself again....I don't know what to do, it's so tempting...but then I thought about this boy named Tobi at my youth group, and I remember he kept on looking at my arms. I really like him too, and I didn't want him to know I cut, cuse I didn't want him to think that I'm creepy or anything. But anyways, whenever I think of Tobi I don't want to cut, he makes me feel so good about myself. Also I made a friend named Noah, and he's made me feel alot better. Also my bf Jared has helped me too...I've just felt so alone. Like I stay in my room for hours just thinking, I get so upset sometimes...UGH BLEH BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH BLABIDIDOODAH LABIDIDOODAH BLEH HAHAHA Ok, i'm gonna tel all of you something, but you have to promise not to judge. Ok, I made this thing called a misery page awhile ago, and I wrote tons of stuff on it, and smeared my blood on it from cutting. I know, gross, but still...well I gotta go....BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!