Monday, February 23, 2009

Gravestones, Oreo's, Pouring Rain, And The Flu

Hey guys....I'm just gonna ramble here...I really love the rain. I mean it's so beautiful how it falls so gracefully to the ground. God did such a nice job creating the rain, and while lots of people frown on rainy days, those are the days that make me the happiest. And I probably drive my mom crazy too, because I don't think she likes rain as much as I do, and I'm so perky on those days. I remember when I was small, my parents dropped me off at church for the first time alone. They told me to behave and all that stuff. But all I ate for supper was a few Oreo cookies and afterword I went out and played in the rain until the preacher told me to come in. It was so funny, I was dripping wet!! And then the next day I got the flu. Also...please don't judge me, I'm NOT crazy. I talked to the tombstones there. I don't know why, I just got a feeling of comfort whenever I talked to them. They didn't answer or anything, but just that feeling that someone was there with me (I knew God was there, He is, the tombstones just felt like another friend to me somehow.) I didn't feel alone. I didn't have that many friend at church (well that was my old Church, now I'm at a different church, and I REALLY miss my old church, but I love this new one too.) But at youth group, all of the leaders treat me extra special, I can tell, and so can everyone else. No one is mean to me because of that, but they notice it. I asked Noah (One of my friends there) Why they do that. He told me because I'm special. I told him to define special, and he said that they know I have some sort of depression problems and also because I've hugged everyone there, and they think that's really sweet. But it kinda creeped me out, because I've never told Noah that I've had depression problems. Is it that obvious? I hope it's not. I mean, yea I remove myself from the room sometimes just to breath, but that doesn't mean I have depression. Maybe it's because he caught me crying in the hallway a couple of weeks ago. I don't know...Also I remember at my friend Aly's party, we went to the grave yard (We didn't do anything bad, I promise :D) And we went up to this morgue thing (I think that's what you call it) And there was a family buried in there. I have a huge fascination with gravestones, I love looking at the dates, the names, and so forth. I just LOVE them. My friends thought that was creepy though. They had to leave the cemetery really quickly cause they though they kept on seeing ghosts :P That's just ridiculous. Well...I'm really tired...so goodnight!!

_HaNdPrInT_

Some wierd things I've done and YAY A happy post!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I FEEL GOOD RIGHT NOW!!!!! LOL I'm watching my bro and sis cause my mom is going to this parent teacher conference thing for my little sister. LOL I'm watching It's Me Or The Dog. Have you ever watched that? It's on Animal Planet Yeeesssss iiiiittttt iiiisssss. Alright. I'm gonna tell you another joke. Why did the cookie go to the Doctor? Cause he was all crummy that's why. HAHA. WHY DOES CHEESE TASTE SO GOOOOD? Why is the sky blue?? Alright! I'm gonna make a list of things that I've done, and you have to tell me if you've done any of those things! This is gonna be hard for all of you though because I've done some pretty crazy things. OK HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever eaten yogurt in the snow? (Yes) No
Have you memorized the whole Spongebob Squarepants Movie? (Yes) No
Have you ever eaten guinea pig food? (Yes) No
Have you ever worn clothes in the shower? (Yes) No
Have you ever danced in your underwear and the neighbors saw you by accident? (Yes) No
Have you ever tied your sister to a chair? (Yes) No
Have you ever burst into laughter in a movie theature? (Yes) No
Have you ever hugged a complete stranger? (Yes) No
Have you ever let a guinea pig lick your ear? (Yes) No
Have you ever eaten a whole bag of potato chips in less then a hour? (Yes) No
Have you ever gone a week without a shower? (Yes) No
Have you ever watched TV for 4 whole hours? (Yes) No
Have you ever licked the carpet? (Yes) No

Alright there you go! and yes, you probably think I'm gross. :D

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Sunday, February 22, 2009

Annoyed, Angry, Depressed, AND ITS SO HARD TO TYPE RIGHT NOW!!! STUPID COMPUTER!! *Throws computer out window*

Ok...my depression has been going off and on and it's really ticking me off. I keep on getting upset about random things and I keep on having to leave the room I'm in so I can just breath. I feel like I'm numb and I'm being suffocated. And my stupid computer keeps going slow. I feel like the poor care bear picture. Awww he's so cute when he's emo though. LOL one of the youth group leaders at church said that I looked so much more happier and that made me feel a little better. But I know I didn't feel as good as he made it sound. Also I made a friend named Brock and he's really sweet. I gave him my email. HAHA. I seriously don't know what to write about and that's making me even more mad and also I'm mad cause I don't know why but I keep on skipping letters when I write and I want to break something. Ugh ok I'm gonna tell you guys some dumb blonde jokes lol.
There were two blondes and one of them came up to some tracks in he dirt. "Oh look, bear tracks!"she said gleefully. But the other blonde shook her head. "No, those are deer tracks." Then they got run over by a train. HAHA. Train tracks. Also: A blonde tried to commit suicide. But when the cops came to her house they saw bullet holes in the mirror. HAAAAHAAA that one's not really funny though. Also I want to tell you guys something. I feel kinda upset because It's so stupid that I just ramble about my life on here and I don't talk about anything or anyone else. I feel selfish. That's also one of the things that keep worrying about. I can't stop worrying!! I feel mean and depressed and I just feel not really all that good Right now. But then I'll have another stupid mood swing and I'll feel ll happy again and then I'll be sad again. AND PEOPLE KEEP ON ASKING ME IF I'M EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't really mind people calling me that, but it's getting annoying. Ugh...........................and I hate this stupid gluten free diet that I'm on. But yea I sorta like it cause then I don't eat that much. You know I used to be a little bit anorexic? I didn't eat for a whole week. I'm tired. And annoyed.
Night...
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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

SO HYPER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *TWITCH* HAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH my hair is so bouncy!!! OK I know I'm hyper, but that's why I'm posting so I won't have another sad post!!!! I WILL HUG YOU!!!!! OMGOSH OMGOSH HAHAHAHAHA I HAVE A GUMMY BEAR ARMY!!!! I feel so hyper I think I'm gonna change my template and make it all bright and happy, IDK!!!!! I love pie!!!! I really love grasshopper pie, and NO IT DOESN'T HAVE GRASSHOPPERS IN IT!!! hahahahaha I love hugs hahah thats why I've hugged EVERYONE at my youth group!! I have the garage sale feeling right now I WANNA GO GARAGE SALEING!!! Ok...why did the chicken cross the road? Cuse he saw a piece of cheese puff on the other side of the road and yea he was a one legged chicken and he was like hopping over to the cheesepuff on the other side of the road and then this truck driver came and smashed into him and the truck drivers name was Steve and he was like OMGOSH IM SO SORRY YOU POOR CHICKEN it was so sad but don't worry the chicken didn't die it just lost it's last leg haha oh and the chicken's name was steve also and the chicken's cousin was named James and the chickens cousin's girlfriend was name SUPERCALIFRAGALISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!!!!! OMGOSH ITS MY FRIEND'S BDAY 2DAY!! HES TURNING 11!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARED!!!! ok I'm gonna tell you more about that chicken!!! He absolutely HATES chicken soup and he likes Oprah and also Dr.Phil cuse he thinks that they have great tips and also he likes Elmo but I don't like Elmo cuse he's scary and his face drips off all the time and I'm not even making any sense but I'm typing so fast I can barely keep up with myself!!! Can you type fast!!?? HAHAHAHA I bet you can't!!! OK I'm doing a contest!! Whoever can tell the funniest joke gets...well I don't know what you get but I'll follow your blog if I'm not already wow I haven't put a period in here in a while this is just a really long sentence I think I'll put a period in here OK??? .......see???I put TONS of periods hahahahahahahahah ewwwwww i hate periods I like !!!!!!! YEA THOSE ARE COOL!!!! WOW THIS IS A LONG HYPER HAPP INTELLIGENT (NOT REALLY) CRAZY ICE CREAM SUGAR CUBE SPRINKLE BUN AHAHAHAHA POST AHAHAHAHA IM NOT MAKING SENSE BUT O WELL HAHAAHAHAHA I LOVE LAUGHING THIS IS SO FUN I'M S HAPPY I LOVE PLUTO WHY DID THEY SAY ITS NOT A PLANET IT IS HAHAHAHAHAH BYE!!!!!!!!

_HANDPRINT_ hahahahahah HAHAHAHAHAHA BWHAHAHAHAHAHA *twitch*

Monday, February 16, 2009

I Feel So Annoyed And Angry And I Don't Know Why

Ugh I feel terrible. I just want to blow up something >:( Geez I'm such a nudge. Someone could be having a perfectly fine, perfectly happy day, and then they go to my blog and get bummed out because of my posts. UGH I KEEP ON SPELLING THINGS WRONG!!! And m computer's going slow, and I can't find a good template for my blog...I feel so aaaaangry. Bleh...You know a boy at the library asked me if I was emo. LOL I told him yes and he looked scared. HAHAHAHA. Also I went ice skating and these three guys kept on asking me for my my space page and they were following me everywhere. I called them desperate jerks. Then they flipped me off. Also I joined this fan fiction website and i entered my Naruto story. lot of people like. JWEAFUIGRUKQEGFIUQEGEUWU I KEEP ON MESSING UP IN MY TYPING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL SO ANGRY GOSH I WANT TO BLOW UP A GIANT CHEESEBURGER OR SOMETHING AHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH gosh......whew I feel better now lol....here's a poem i wrote:
I Know It…Or Do I? I know you love me, I really, really do.You must love me,Because I love you too!When I look at you,It's hard to look away,When I'm right beside you, We always have to stay,When you sing to me softly,The words don't leave my head,They haunt me, and haunt me,Until I go to bed.You call me your girl,I call you my boy,But do we really mean it?….I don't think we do.We fight, We argue,We hit,And we twist,And I can't keep track Of all the different boys I've kissed.You flirt with other girls,You always drive them home,And on our anniversary, All you bought me was a comb.….But I love you, I do,But do you love me too?I'm having second thoughts On this relationship thing,I'll get back to you later…There's guy I'm supposed to meet;He's a cute Chinese guy that I met Named Ping……And where's your other girlfriend named Laura?Did you give her your famous "So Mora"?If you did………..I don't think I love you anymore. UGH it messed up. I copied and pasted from Microsoft word and it got all scrunched up...but oh well....i know its a terrible poem but...
i like pie...

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Thursday, February 12, 2009

♥Some Love Poems And Sayings 4 Valentines Day!!♥

Yes, I know I used this picture again, I love it!! I'm deciding to do ANOTHER post because my last one was too sad and moody. :D

So here are some cute love peoms and sayings. ♥ Just for Valentines Day!!

You are what happened when I wished upon a star, You’ve made me realize that I’ve always been missing something I never even knew I wanted, It’s not that I can’t live without you, It’s that I don’t even want to try; When I first saw you, I was afraid to talk to you; When I first talked to you, I was afraid to like you; When I first liked you, I was afraid to love you; Now that I love you,I’m afraid to lose you ♥

Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence. ~David Byrne♥Love is a game that two can play and both win. ~Eva Gabor♥Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved. ~Christopher Paul Rubero♥We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. ~Author Unknown♥You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry. ~Author Unknown♥I ran up the door, opened the stairs,said my pajamas and put on my prayers -turned off my bed, tumbled into my light,and all because he kissed me good-night!~Author Unknown♥Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold. ~Zelda Fitzgerald♥I love that smile of yours, So cute and loving. I love that voice of yoursSo deep and caring. I love those hands of yours, So warm and strong. I love yours eyes, So grey and shining. I love the beat of your heart...Cause my love for you increases, As your heart takes another beat. I love everything you are, Cause I know, you are for me!♥Boys are always confused by girls because we always expect too much and girls are always confused by boys because they dont always give what we expect.

Awww aren't those so cute!!?? Sorry it wasn't well put together, but my computer has issues 2day :P

Thanx 4 coming!! ♥♥♥ Happy Valentines Day!!!

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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

................ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............

Hey guys...right now my depression is TERRIBLE. I feel angry and just terrible...I want to be more beautiful and I just want to live like I used to when I barely knew what depression was. And my mom is annoying me to death I just wanna throw a pie at her face!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!....And I've been eating ALLOT and I do that when I'm stressed and I absolutely HATE that. Right now I feel emo and mean and stupid and ugly and weird and just messed up. I've even been crying myself to sleep. I hate it. I hate all of this. This could be easily compared to hell. Well, maybe. I'm falling inside the darkness. That's a quote from a singer I like called Kerli Koiv...she's really cool, but she doesn't act as godly as she should...everyone thinks she's a Christian, and maybe she is, I don't know. I also like Skillet and Three Days Grace. They are Rock/Punk/Heavy metal..They are really cool. Hey, and you know what? Listening to music can change my mood. I can get constant mood swings by just listening to the radio. That's why I don't listen to the radio that much, because the songs remind me of difficult things and it makes me depressed. It's so annoying, because I don't feel normal when I have to AVOID the radio. Ugh my eyes are watering up right now just thinking about all of this stuff...Does everyone have this? Does every teenager go through this depression crap? I HATE IT!!! I'm NEVER HAPPY ANYMORE!!!! I just want to scream so badly, but no one will let me!!! I feel like I'm in THIS STUPID LITTLE BUBBLE!!!!! And it won't let me GO!!!! I'm so angry I want to hurt someone. And I hate hurting people. But I think I hurt EVERYONE when I'm like this, but I can't help it!! I hate that I have all this anxiety, because I'm afraid that one day when I tell my mom that I have anxiety, she won't believe me because it's been happening so long!!!! She doesn't even believe that I really have depression, but she has no idea was kind of hell I've been going through for the past through months. I AM NOT OVER EXAGGERATING. I am dead serious. I had to stop myself from going down stares, pulling out a freakin knife, and jabbing myself with it. I'm so sorry that you all have to hear this...I'm being so selfish putting this out here and probably scaring you guys, And if you don't want to talk to me that's fine. I'm even scaring myself. I know this isn't how God wants me to feel, and if He's trying to teach me something, then I'll learn it. I'll do ANYTHING for Him. I have definitely grown stronger in Him with all of this anxiety stuff. When I think of Him I feel affection. I know He cares for me, even though it feels like He doesn't sometimes. I try and act happy around everyone so they won't be affected, but it's hard. I try to act silly so I feel better, but it doesn't work anymore. It's scary, and I feel so alone. I HATE the word alone. It's so scary................Ugh bed time.
Later...

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Monday, February 9, 2009

Feeling better, but my depression is still bugging me..but I did lots of fun things!! READ!!

Hey guys...my depression hasn't really been any better, but my anxiety has been better. Though last night I had trouble falling asleep. LOL have any of you heard of Fred? He's this really funny guy on YouTube, and I think he's a Christian. LOL he's so funny! He's becoming famous. My friend Aly told me about him, and I love watching his little web shows. Hey, and do any of you feel like someone is watching you, and they could jump out any second to get you? I feel like that. Maybe it;s cause I watched a little bit of Scary Movie 3. Stay away from those movies you guys. I went to a B-Day party with Aly, and there was a girl there named Bree, and she really got on my nerves. She called me a baby when in the movie I hid my face cause there was this girl and her face was all twisted and green and it fell off. That would scare anybody who had depression and anxiety problems. She was really nasty too. She kept on saying that she was going over to her boyfriends house and do him. :P That's just gross. And when we went in the grave yard to look at the baby tomb stones she kept on saying that she could see demons floating around the stones. it was annoying. She kept on cussing too, and she was so loud. She flipped off a police officer. I'm glad he ignored her, or we would be in trouble. And we saw a dead squirrel on the side of the road and she picked it up...Ewwww....thr poor squirrel. LOL but Aly's sisters were so cute! She told me they were brats though LOL. But I would say the same thing about my brother, he can get REALLY annoying. Right now he's watching the Tigger Movie Haha. My favorite is Piglet!! He's so cute!! But my ultimate fav is Tigger, cuse I think I'm just like him!! YAY!! Me and my mom went to Goodwill and I got these cute PJ pants Haha I'm wearing them right now. I also got this cool shirt and a Beanie Baby, and a CD and a book. Then we went to San Suci (Another thrift store) And I got this beautiful BIG long dress for only 2 dollars. LOL everyone was asking me if I was going to wear it to Prom. I also got ZoeGirl which is an AWESOME Christian music band. I love them! I also got a blanket for the guinea pigs (AND THEY LOVE IT!!! AHHHHH!!!!) And some other cool stuff. I also went ice skating...I love ice skating. I've been doing it for 7 or 8 years. I met some of my old friends, and we had so much fun!! (Have I already told you this?) We put a wig on one of the guys and made his skate around asking all the guys if they were attracted to him it was so fun!! But I go some blisters on my feet..They still hurt :P...but that's oooooook.....geez I don't know what else to talk about...but go check out Fred on YouTube! You just type in Fred in the search thingy and you should find him. he's really funny and he's pretty clean. Bye!

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Friday, February 6, 2009

I'm feeling better, but I still want to rip somebody's head off :P

I love this picture so much. I wish I could look like her. :D I'm doing better today but I'm still have flashes of depression and anxiety. But thanks to all you guys, I'm feeling allot better. Your comments are very supportive, and I love you all! Do you like my new template better? I accidentally messed up my other template, and I couldn't fine it again, so I just decided with this. I know it looks kinda plain, but i've given up on looking for the "perfect" background. It's such a waste of time. I hate that on Pyzam that when you get a template, it deletes all your widgets. It's such a pain to put them back on. That's why i only changed my background when I was in a good mood. LOL sorry I talked about PMSing in my last post, that was kinda awkward. Gosh I still feel like I wanna hit someone. But THANK YOU SO MUCH JILLIAN, EMMA, AND JAMES!!!! You guys are so sweet! Aww I love green and blue haha. Hey and I think I'm over my "emo stage". I can actually look at bright colors now without having to shield my eyes :D. Although I was respected by emo people on the internet, and now I'm not (at least by them) but that shows how good of friends they were :P Hey I'm gonna ask you all a question! OK which is your favorite holiday? Answer when you comment. Well, if you want to that is. Also, who here likes Fall Out Boy. I think they are the same as My Chemical Romance. Their just kinda crude. Pete Wentz (He's the electric guitar player I think) said that he is addicted to porn. Now I will make a promise RIGHT now. I will never marry a man who is obsessed with porn or is a womanizer. Their just weird, and they wouldn't love you as much as a faithful husband would. I've been praying to God about "The one" , you know, the guy I will marry someday. I hope he's cute :D but that's not all that matters. I want him to be Christian definitely. I also want my friends to be Christians, most of them are, but some of them aren't and I guess that's ok. Maybe them being around me will turn them into Christians, I don't know. But I love all my friends, their so supportive and nice!! AND ALSO THEY LIKE PIE!!! Hey, this is one of my more positive posts, my mom will be happy, LOL. WELL I better get going, I have to do my chores. :D

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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I'm angry and depressed I really want to push someone over a cliff and I want chocolate!!

Hmm...today...has been OK but not really. I hate PMSing, I'm very dangerous. I almost killed Jesse, my imaginary boyfriend last night. I want to bite something. Now don't worry all you guys, I won't describe my PMS symptoms so...I don't know what to talk about. I think I'm gonna write a horror story after I finish up See-It-Believe-It-Consequences. I think I'm gonna call it When Life Gives You Lemons...You Make...Grape Juice? LOL I know it's lame. OK...do you guys ever feel like someone is calling you and they probably aren't? I keep on hearing this woman's voice calling my name. Her voice is so soothing and soft but it's making me kinda scared. Do you think maybe my birth mom? Maybe she IS in Heaven and is calling me from the above. HAHAHA that sounded weird. But anyway...I've been praying like crazy for her, and I love her so much even though I barely know her. But I'm sure when I find her she'll love me too. Maybe. Have any of you ever read Romeo and Juliet? (Sorry I change the subject so much...) It's so hard to read. I don't even know what the heck their talking about. But I have a feeling it has something to do with pancakes (:D JK) ......I'm so bored...can you die from boredom? Like maybe you can have a seizure or something...I don't know...HAHAHA MY TEETH FEEL MINTY FRESH!!!!! Sorry for that random outburst I love mint though. Bubble Gum toothpaste tastes bad...maybe it's cause that's the only kind I used when In was a kid, I don't know. Oh, I know I'm boring you I must be LOL I'm so bored I'm starting something about toothpaste. I hate the dentist. I don;t mean the person who does my teeth, I just don't like toothpaste or anything that's gross like that. I have severe phobia of going to the dentist, I hyperventilate in the van. I have to go like 2 times a year it's so stupid. I NEVER WANT TO GO!!!! I want to barf when I get inside cause I hate the smell of the dentists. They smell like camels. I've smelled a camel before...I've also smalled a horse...and you don't want to smell a guinea pig when it's constipated or when it has diariah. Ewwww. Hye and do any of you like My Chemical Romance? Their a little disgusting and they cuss allot but some of their songs are fine...What's the point of cussing anyway? It's so stupid, it doesn't mean anything, it's just a crude word. I have no right to really speak about not cussing, because I do it allot when I'm in my room. I'm so thankful that it doesn't slip out when I'm out of my room. I don't know what started my cussing, maybe it's just a thing about growing up, but I don't like it. My mind scolds me whenever I cuss and I feel guilty. Kinda weird, huh? Especially when other people have no problem with cussing. I'm not criticizing anyone who does, but still...and don't you just hate people who cuss in every single sentence they use? It's so annoying. Their just faker's.I'm hungry.Bye!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I'm falling right in that black depressing hole again...it's like yesterday didn't happen

I know, I finally used a different picture...I'm going right back in depression. This sucks poptart crumbs. Geez it's like yesterday didn't even happen, I feel all sad again. Maybe it's cuse I'm PMSing I don't know. This is so stupid, being a teenager bites. I like being young, but sometimes I wish hormones didn't exist :P By the way, there was this guy that emailed me from Imeem ( a music site) and he was like in his twenties, and so I blocked him. I won't talk to any guy over 16, I made that rule up for myself. It's too dangerous and I don't wanna die. Some times I do, but right now I value my life. WOW I went to my therapist and like right in the middle of when we were talking, I yelled out, "I like pie!" It was so embarrassing, I didn't even mean to yell it out. I guess I shout out random stuff when I'm stressed or something. Hi Jillian, Emma, Jared and James if your reading this!!! ALSO HI MOM!!!! My friend told me I was the queen of randomness. Ugh is it normal for guinea pigs to eat their own poop? Cuse Kyoko is in my lap right now and she keeps bending over and eating her poop. You know you can Only drink your pee once in your life? I'm sorry...I know, gross, but still this is an online diary so...anywayz...I'm bloated...yea...PMSing is terrible...all you guys are so lucky, you have no idea. Gosh and I really want some pie. Like REALLY bad. I keep on dreaming about pie. And also lava lamps. I have one but it takes for ever for the play dough stuff in the inside to start moving around. GOSH I FEEL TERRIBLE!!!! Right now I want to die, I really feel like cutting right now, and it's taking all of my will power not to. Do all teenage girls have this problem? Allot of my friends tell me they've cut before. I have one guy friend that's cut and another online who's name is Kiah. He's cool He's from Japan. Also...I keep on thinking about the Titanic. It's so weird how these things always pop in my head at the strangest moments. Do you think you can imagine all of those people, children, everyone screaming as the ship went down? it's terrible. I'm glad I wasn't there...I wonder if my birthmom has a good education. Hey and also thanx Jillian, Emma, and James cuse ur comments are always helpful and I really love you guys!!! ..........I'm hungry....
BYE

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Sunday, February 1, 2009

I'm feeling so happy, and also full cause I drank 3 cans of root beer!!

Hey guys whats up? I'm posting this from my uncle's house, so I can't put my picture in here. Nothings really going on except that I finally have enough money to buy all the books I want at the library book sale! Yes, I am obsessed with books. But that doesn't mean I'm a geek, and don't call ANYONE that, it's mean. LOL I sound like a mother. Anyways, I've been on this new medicine that supposed to help me with my depression and anxiety, and it's really helping! I feel so happy and free, I think God is finally answering my prayers! O, and by the way, I couldn't go to youth group tonight, we had a family thing. (That's why I'm typing on my uncle's keyboard :D) And I'm so full! I've had 3 pieces of pizza, 5 mini wieners, 2 strawberries, and a handful of chips! (Not to mention three can of root beer ;) LOL) Also my aunt gave me two big plants for my room! (I'm an evirementalist and I absolutely ADORE plants and animals. I'm also pro-life, I'm COMPLETELY against abortion :D) LOL my family is watching the Superbowl. What's so great about football anyway? I never really got it, and I don't think I want to. It looks and sounds so boring. (Sorry all you football lovers, football just doesn't click with me) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so happy I think I could go out and buy a pink shirt! (Which is VERY rare, I have like no pink clothes :P) O and I forgot to tell you guys! I redid my guinea pig cage! It's so cool! It's much bigger and it'll be easier to clean, I feel like so much has been lifted off of me, this cage is awesome! And the piggies like it better I can tell, and their not fighting as much. LOL My brother just came over to me laughing, showing a weird picture of my uncle to me....I love this happy feeling. This feeling reminds me of my mom, and that feeling is so comforting. (My birth mom I mean, but of course I love my mom now :D) I remember I used to dream before bed, thinking if she was asleep now or still awake, maybe on the other side of the world. Sometimes I find myself dreaming like that now, usually only when I'm depressed. Oh, and also you know that game I told you about? The Legend Of Zelda, Majora's Mask? Well I got three more masks all by myself! Also my friend Zac came over and helped me out with that. Oh, an some other news, I'm completely over my cutting thing! OK MY BROTHER IS GETTING ANNOYING!!!! HIS LAUGH IS SO OBNOXIOUS AND LOUD!!!!!!!! Bleh anyway..I better go....bye! :D

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